Silver Lining, Day 785

Trump's America. They're getting desperate.

Silver Lining, Day 784

Now we can call him Veto Corleone'd by Putin.

Silver Lining, Day 783

Day 782's Silver Lining was going to be an epic tribute to my awesome wife, Melanie Liss Cohen, on her birthday, but Facebook had other plans. I posted an abbreviated "Nice Try, Donald" at the end of the night and this appears to have gone missing.

This infernal fuckery will not stand! So, in honor of Pi Day, I insist everyone call the White House 202-456-1414 and ask whoever answers the phone to have Melania throw a custard pie in Donald's face on the South Lawn.

I feel that such a spectacle is owed to the American people.

Silver Lining, Day 781

Ten Lynyrd Skynyrd songs re-recorded for the Trump era:

10. Gimme Three Wives

9. T for Texas (and Treason)

8. Drain the Swamp Music

7. Don't Ask Me No Questions Under Oath

6. Colludesday's Gone

5. Workin for KGB

4. Simple Man-boy

3. Free Birdbrain

2. Sweet Home Mar-a-Lago

 And

1. Call Me the Sleaze

Silver Lining, Day 779

Ten other things Trump autographed in Alabama:

10. A stray dog

9. A truck stop bathroom stall

8. A pro golfer's balls

7. Someone's Blockbuster video card

6. A stuffed alligator schlong

5. A note excusing someone from jury duty

4. A customer service survey at a Waffle House

3. The shell of an endangered gopher tortoise

2. A deed for a string of Alabama massage parlors

 And

1. The dress robes of a "very fine person."

Silver Lining, Day 778

Sometimes, I like to imagine, for shits and giggles, what Republicans would have done if Barack Obama had acted like Donald Trump. Imagine, dear friends, the orgiastic fury that would have spewed forth from Fox News and the likes, had Obama had the audacity to sign Bibles while visiting a storm-ravaged county in the Deep South. Priceless.

Silver Lining, Day 777

It's 5:53 AM EST. What's the over/under of Donald saying something ridiculously offensive about International Women's Day? I predict 9:00 AM.