Silver Lining, Day 1075

My New Year's Resolution for 2020 is to lose 243 pounds on the "No Tangerine Diet."

Silver Lining, Day 1074

Tomorrow night when the ball drops, just be glad you won't be kissing Mitch McConnell. A secretary of transportation tells me that his lips taste like Golden Ass.

Silver Lining, Day 1071

Trump and conservatives are making a huge deal out of the Canadian Broadcasting Company cutting the orange turd's cameo out of a recent broadcast of Home Alone 2. Because, you know, THAT'S what's important. The good news is that the Rotten Tomatoes score for the new version jumped 10 percentage points.

Silver Lining, Day 1070

I have it on good authority that Santa put this in Donald Trump's stocking.

Silver Lining, Day 1069

We're also saying you're impeached, Donald, thanks to you.

Silver Lining, Day 1068

Jedi mind trick - These are not the hemorrhoids you're looking for.

Silver Lining, Day 1067

Donald Trump doesn't care what you think about Rise of Skywalker. He stopped being interested when he learned it wasn't a dirty movie.