Silver Lining, Day 101

I am thankful that our president still feels the need to hold "rallies." It serves to remind me what a truly horrible person he is, as divorced from reality as any reality show president can be. We elected the one person in this great nation of ours who thought the job of "President of the United States" would be easier than it is.

Silver Lining, Day 100

I'm not stopping at 100 days, since, you know, Trumpaluffagus says it's a "false standard."

To those who wish I'd shut up and just get over it, your silver lining is that I'd much rather stop, but our reality show president is still kicking about, being the greatest commander-in-chief in the history of our country, doing everything right, and blaming the previous administration for everything that has gone wrong.

Remember my motto: Just like presidents, not every silver lining is a winner.

Silver Lining, Day 99

In the lobby of the Albany Hampton Inn this morning, with Trump speaking on the news, I kept my mouth shut when the guy next to me enthusiastically said "Way to go, Donny!" Thus, I averted serious injury.

Silver Lining, Day 98

Amtrak delays translate to me staying overnight in Albany. I can sleep better knowing I am further away from D.C.

On a related note, anyone in Albany have some underwear I can borrow?

Silver Lining, Day 97

The greatest concert list of any president. 10 bands/artists I, Donald J. Trump, have seen in concert, 1 of them, I haven't. Guess which one is a lie.

1) Milli Vanilli
2) 2 Live Crew
3) Ludwig van Beethoven
4) Kevin Federline
5) Capitol Offense
6) Color Me Badd
7) Nickelback
8) The Baha Men
9) Pussycat Dolls
10) Pussy Riot

Silver Lining, Day 96

This:

'Clearly no American president has endorsed this beer': Canadian brewery debuts 'Fake News Ale' in tongue-and-cheek tribute to Donald Trump

• Northern Maverick Brewery in Toronto is selling the limited-edition brew
• Five per cent of sales will be donated  to 'help reverse a questionable policy' put forward by Trump's administration

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/food/article-4406566/Canadian-brewery-makes-Fake-News-Ale-mocking-Trump.html#ixzz4fJROSJdv 

Silver Lining, Day 95

To all my friends stuck on the subway in Brooklyn this morning, at least you weren't sitting next to anyone from the Trump administration. Although, if Ben Carson had been with you, you could have cracked a bunch of brain surgeons running the MTA jokes.

Silver Lining, Day 94

Yankee Candle does not have any Trump-scented products.

Silver Lining, Day 93

At least there's no evidence Trump has ever clubbed a baby seal.

Silver Lining, Day 92

Trump can take credit for adding American jobs! Procter & Gamble is reporting that they had to add 1000 jobs "just to keep up with demand" from the federal government. Apparently, the company recorded record sales yesterday after the White House ordered "a shit-ton of Febreze." When pressed for comment, a P&G spokesperson said, "I don't know what happened over there, but we're very grateful."

Silver Lining, Day 91

Yesterday, when the news about Bill O'Reilly being fired broke, Billy Bush climbed out of his hole, saw his own shadow, and fled back underground.

Silver Lining, Day 90

Silver Lining, Day 89

This is a couple years old, but the fact that it exists makes me smile, albeit VERY uncomfortably.

Donald Trump Butt Plug Now Available For Your Pleasure (NSFW)

Silver Lining, Day 88

South Lawn cleared of liberals! Let the Easter Egg roll commence!

Silver Lining, Day 87

Tensions with North Korea have made the laundromat quite empty this lovely Sunday spring morning. So, there's that.

Silver Lining, Day 86

Anyone concerned that Melanie got a tattoo of Donald Trump riding an atomic bomb a la Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove, rest assured, she did not.

Silver Lining, Day 85

Lifted from Facebook:

Scattergories…with a twist! It’s harder than you think…No using Google! Every answer must start with the FIRST letter of your LAST name. And don’t duplicate my answers. Only use one word answers! Have a bit of fun with me!

·         

• ·     Last Name –Trump
• ·         Animal – Terradactel  (spelling?)
• ·         Girl Name – Trixie
• ·         Boy’s Name – Tadimir Tootin
• ·         Color – Tangerine (obviously)
• ·         Name of Movie – The Manchurian Candidate
• ·         Something You Wear – Toupee
• ·         Drink – Tears of Liberals
• ·         Food  - Tacos –remember I love the Hispanics!
• ·         Item in Bathroom – Tiki Torch – the lighting makes me look bigly powerful
• ·         Place – Toontown – half my cabinet calls it home!
• ·         Reason to be Late – Trying to Track down Tax Returns

Copy, paste, change my answers to yours!

Silver Lining, Day 84

I am sending out condolences to David Letterman on the passing of his mother, Dorothy Mengering. She lived to the ripe old age of 95 and she was a joy to us viewers who loved his show.  Wherever she is now, she doesn’t have to deal with Trump, so I guess that’s our silver lining for today, folks. May her memory be a blessing.

Silver Lining, Day 83

Unlikely to be sitting next to Donald while flying United. Lots of extra seats, too!

Silver Lining, Day 82

A moment of levity at last night's Passover seder at the White House - when Elijah's cup was mysterious drained of wine, The Goy-in-Chief went ballistic, blaming Obama and swearing he knew it was going to happen because Andrew Napolitano had texted him between the second and third glasses of wine and warned him. Also, kids still searching for afikomen.

Silver Lining, Day 81

Trump hosting Passover seder tonight in White House. Saving taxpayers money by hiding the afikomen in Mar-a-Lago.

Silver Lining, Day 80

Steve Bannon not invited to White House for Passover seder.

Silver Lining, Day 79

At least none of our 59 Tomahawk Missiles hit a Planned Parenthood.

Silver Lining, Day 78

It must be killing him to be doing the same thing that Hillary would have done.

Silver Lining, Day 77

Foreign tourists in New York City seem nicer. But I think it's part pity.

Silver Lining, Day 76

When Trump said, "I don't think Bill did anything wrong," he was not referring to me. #SexualPredatorsOfaFeatherFlockTogether

Silver Lining, Day 75

Further honoring National Poetry Month with a poem composed entirely of Donald Trump's words, in sequence, edited down to their pure essence:

Pussygate 

I moved on her, actually.
I moved on her, and I failed.
I did try, no, no, Nancy, no
and I moved on her
I moved on her like a bitch.
But I couldn’t get there.

I better use some Tic Tacs.

I’m automatically attracted.
I just start
Kissing.
Just kiss.
You can do anything.

Grab ’em
by the pussy.
You can do anything.

Silver Lining, Day 74

For National Poetry Month, I've composed a haiku for him:

Nobody has more
respect for poems than me
as long as they rhyme.

Silver Lining, Day 73

It's Opening Day for Major League baseball, and fans everywhere are being spared this sight:

Silver Lining, Day 72