Silver Lining, Day 466

Next year's White House Correspondents' Association Dinner will be hosted by the reanimated corpse of Bob Hope. (I was going to add a Kellyanne Conway joke here, but I'm sensitive enough to not want to offend the reanimated corpse of Bob Hope.)

Silver Lining, Day 465

The Donald Trump of Candies....

Silver Lining, Day 464

Merkel successfully thwarts Donald's attempt to reenact the "Access Hollywood" tape, thereby avoiding a serious international incident.

Silver Lining, Day 463

Maybe Trump will pardon Cosby. I mean, share a cell.

Silver Lining, Day 462

And Donald selects a Secretary of Veteran's Affairs with the 28th pick in the NFL draft.

Silver Lining, Day 461

10 Rejected State Dinner menu items...

10) Dark and Stormy Daniels (Cocktail)

9) Chicken Kiev

8) Wiki Leeks

7) Tossed Salad with Golden Shower Beets and Russian Undressing

6) Make America Grapes Again

5) Pander-seared Tuna

4) Venisonofabitch

3) Pasta Putinesca

2) Collu-John Dory

 And

1) Eggs Benedict Arnold, Comb-over Easy

Silver Lining, Day 460

Yesterday's Silver Lining was "forgotten," proof that prolonged exposure to the Trump administration has negative mental health effects.

Silver Lining, Day 458

Silver Lining 457 went out yesterday looking for Silver Lining 437, allegedly hidden by the Easter Bunny on April 1. It never returned. I fear foul play is involved.

Silver Lining, Day 456

The Stuff of Nightmares:

Silver Lining, Day 455

Adding Rudy Giuliani to your legal team is a great idea, Donald. You won't be the most batshit crazy sociopath in the room anymore!

Silver Lining, Day 454

Trump changes positions so often, even the Kama Sutra is like, "Take it easy, buddy!"

Silver Lining, Day 453

Trump filed for an extension on his taxes because he learned he couldn't claim Sean Hannity as a dependent.

Silver Lining, Day 452

Lincoln Bedroom turned into AirBnB to help pay Trump legal fees.

Silver Lining, Day 451

So kind of the president to help Comey out with his publicity campaign for the new book.

Silver Lining, Day 450

One of the targets destroyed in the Syrian airstrikes was a storage locker containing all of Hillary's emails and Obama's Kenyan birth certificate. Oh well. "Mission Accomplished," indeed.

Silver Lining, Day 449

The makers of the Jackass films are suing Donald for copyright infringement.

Silver Lining, Day 448

I didn't post a Silver Lining yesterday because, with the news of Paul Ryan not seeking another term, it would have just been redundant.

Silver Lining, Day 446

Trump stepping on a rake without a rake.

Silver Lining, Day 445

To distract from Stormy Daniels, Donald has renamed these Cabinet Members (snicker) as if they were adult film performers:

10. Ben Wa Balls Carson

9. Robert Milky Wilkie

8. Ryan Kinky Zinkie

7. Sonny Perdue Me

6. Betsy DeVos Deferens

5. Mick Vulvaney

4. Scott Bluitt

3. Linda McMahon OnMahon

2. Steve Carpet Mnuchin

And

1. Rick Perineum

Silver Lining, Day 444

Silver Lining, Day 443

January 20, 2017 was the worst episode of Trading Spaces ever.

Silver Lining, Day 442

It's after midnight. It's the 14th inning at Yankee Stadium. New York is on its 8th pitcher and, thankfully, Donald Trump is not warming up in the bullpen.

Silver Lining, Day 441

So, huge pile of dog poop on my street. I planted one of my Trump flags in it. You know, social commentary, etc. etc. At some point during the day, someone took the little marker out of the feces and threw the pencil with the Trump banner into the street. Left the shit, took care of Donald, and tossed him aside. I like to think there's a metaphor here for something. Perhaps about my actions, as well. I did nothing but draw attention to the excrement, and I am more upset someone untagged the load than the fact there was canine waste on my block. The moral of the story? No matter what we do, there will always be shit on the sidewalk. Watch your step, America.

Silver Lining, Day 440

Cambridge Analytica sounds like an encyclopedia for coprophiles so, really, it all adds up.

Silver Lining, Day 439

Trump says he plans to have military guard Mexico border. Melania will get a platoon to guard Donald's pants.

Silver Lining, Day 438

Yesterday's silver lining was hidden by the Easter Bunny. We'll find it in a month or two when it starts to smell.