Silver Lining, Day 618

Yesterday's Silver Lining blacked out after mixing too much beer with right-wing hypocrisy.

Silver Lining, Day 616

Someone did the heavy lifting for me.

https://youtu.be/lmwvo_c5ayU

Someone Mashed Up Brett Kavanaugh's Testimony With The Hamburger Scene From 'Pulp Fiction' And It's Perfect

Silver Lining, Day 615

Silver Lining, Day 614

Ten songs by U2 re-branded for the Trump Era...

10. One Tree Hillary

9. I Will Bellow

8. Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Conspiracy Theories?

7. Stuck in an Investigation You Can't Get Out Of

6. Trip Through Your Wiretaps

5. The Little Hands That Dismantled America

4. Staring at the Sun (During an Eclipse)

3. With or Without Proof

2. The Unforgettable Liar

 and

1. Where the Tweets Have No Shame

Silver Lining, Day 613

Seven best anagrams for Brett Michael Kavanaugh:

7. Attachable Heaving Murk

6. Baklava Nightmare Chute

5. Cheek Vulgarian Bathmat

4. Hack Matt Lauer Behaving

3. Embark! Leviathan Caught!

2. Him Huge Anal Attack Verb

 and

1. That Bum a Vagina Heckler

Silver Lining, Day 612

New term for boys-will-be-boys apologists and hypocritical Republican gasbags: Kava-nuts.

Silver Lining, Day 611

Looking forward to the biggest week of sanctimonious hypocritical bullshit ever.

Silver Lining, Day 610

Thankfully, the only presidential Dick pic I could find...

Silver Lining, Day 609

It took 608 days, but Donald finally came through on his "so much winning" promise for Cleveland Browns fans.

Silver Lining, Day 608

I am no longer as scared of Yetis as I was previously. Thanks, Stormy!

Gold Lining, Day 607

Rest in Peace, Sweet Sally Sunshine. You touched more lives than you could possibly know. 😪

Silver Lining, Day 606

Ten Van Halen Songs, Rewritten for the King of the Swamp...

10. Unbrained

9. Obstructin' with the Devil

8. Somebody Get Me a Tic Tac

7. Mine Wall Mine

6. Why Can't This Be Love (Or at Least an Autocracy?)

5. Outta Alibis Again

4. Where Have All the Good Racists Gone

3. Hannity's Cryin'

2. Hot for Tweeter

 And

1. Corruption/You Really Caught Me

Silver Lining, Day 605

Kavanaugh feeling the heat? He may want to try one of these deodorants rebranded for the Trump era:

10. Jack Black Pitiful Boss Deodorant

9. Old Vice

8. Calvin Klein Obsession with Hillary

7. Peed Stick

6. Move on Her Like a Bitchum Invisible Roll-On

5. Alt-Right Guard

4. Travel Ban Roll-On

3. Arm & Hammer & Sickle

2. Can't Keep a Secret Clinical Strength

 And

1. Axe Not What Your Country Can Do for You, But What You Can Do for Yourself

Silver Lining, Day 604

That president you left on the curb several days ago is still there. Even dogs are avoiding it.

Silver Lining, Day 603

Trump disavows Silver Lining for Day 602, claims Axl and Slash collaborating again is just "fake news." Remember folks, if it's not on Fox News, it can't possibly be true.

Silver Lining, Day 602

Thirty years ago, Guns 'N Roses "Appetite for Destruction" finally topped the album charts, a year after its release. Axl and Slash have re-released a Trump-era version, appropriately called "Appetite for Obstruction," with the following renamed tracks:

1. Welcome to the Bungle

2. It’s So Treasony

3. Whitebrain

4. Out to Nyet Me

5. Mr. Brownnose

6. Parasite City

7. My Ivanka, I Mean, Melania

8. Think About Putin

9. Tweet Child o’ Mine

10. You’re Crazy (Which Means, by Comparison, I’m Batshit Insane)

11. Anything Goes (Above the Law)

12. I’m Rocketman’s Queen

Next Up: Use Your Collusion I and II

Silver Lining, Day 601

Ten Journey songs revised for the Trump era:

10. Send Her My Love and $130,000

9. Cheese Wheel in the Sky

8. Be Good to Your Elf (feat. AG Sessions)

7. Any Way You Taunt It

6. Don't Stop Deceivin'

5. Unfaithfully

4. Who's Lying Now

3. Walks Like a Lady (Governs like a Demented Squirrel)

2. Open Arms (Tiny Hands)

 And

1. Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin', Grabbin' 'em by the Pussy

Silver Lining, Day 600

66 days more until the Rapture.

Silver Lining, Day 599

America, the warranty on your president expires at midnight. If you don't return him now, you'll just end up having to leave him on the curb.

Silver Lining, Day 598

On Rosh Hashanah it is inscribed,

And on Yom Kippur it is sealed.

How many shall pass away and how many shall be born,

Who shall live and who shall die,

Who shall reach the end of his days and who shall not,

Who shall speak facts and who shall speak alternate facts,

Who shall be a bully, and who shall rise above the bullying,

Who shall do what is right, and who shall do what is needed to get elected,

Who shall tweet indiscriminately and who shall think,

Who shall be the epitome of unchecked Pride and who shall be humble,

Who shall be loyal to their country and who shall be loyal only to themselves,

Who shall rise and who shall fall,

Who shall encourage fear, mistrust, and bigotry, and who shall encourage love, partnership and community,

Who shall remain, and who shall be impeached,

Who shall continue to divide us, and who shall seek to unite us,

Who shall be the cloud, and who shall be the silver lining?

On Rosh Hashanah it is inscribed and on Yom Kippur it is sealed.

Amen.

Silver Lining, Day 597

Remember kids - Ivanka once had to explain to her father that Shawna Tovah wasn't the name of a hot Israeli actress.

Wishing everyone a happy and sweet New Year!

Silver Lining, Day 596

A priest, a rabbi and Donald Trump walk into bar. The priest and rabbi ordered a beer, Donald rubbed his head and said "Ouch."

Silver Lining, Day 595

We lost Warren Zevon 15 years ago today. Those who know me know what a huge fan I am. In the spirit of Warren, here are twelve of his songs rebranded for the Trump Era:

12. Even a Dog Can Shake Hands (And Be a Better President)

11. I Was in the White House When the Constitution Burned Down

10. Lawyers, Guns and Hush Money

9. (Not a Stable) Genius

8. The Long Arm of the Law (Is Closing In)

7. Disorder in the White House

6. I'll Sleep When I'm in Federal Prison

5. My Shit's Foxed Up

4. Tweet It All Night Long

3. Donald the Brainless White House Squatter

2. Accidentally Like a Traitor

 and

1. Poor Poor Impeachable Me

Silver Lining, Day 594

Ten national chain restaurants undergoing name changes in honor of Donald Trump:

10. Ruby Colludesday

9. T.G.I.Liedays

8. IHOPping Mad

7. Outbackstab Steakhouse

6. Buffalo Wild Accusations Grill and Bar

5. Orange Mobster

4. P.F.Changes His Mind Daily

3. Shakedown Shack

2. Golden Shower Corral

And

1. Olive Putin Garden

Silver Lining, Day 593

Donald refused to show up for classes on the first day of school today, disappointing Melania and guaranteeing that most American schoolchildren will be better-educated than the president.

Silver Lining, Day 592

Donald to ask Colin Kapernick to the Sadie Hawkins dance because he is so clearly in love with him. #ObsessedMuch #HesJustNotIntoYou

Silver Lining, Day 591

Donald Trump's sad fantasy football roster...

Quarterback - He Lies Manning

Running Back 1 - Dalvin Cooks the Books

Running Back 2 - Chris Ivory Tower

Wide Receiver 1 - Brandin Crooks

Wide Receiver 2 - Demaryius N. Divorssus

Tight End - Jordan Reed Him His Rights

Flex - Golden Shower Tate

Kicker - Ryan Succop-to-Putin

Defense/Special Team - Cardinalsins

Silver Lining, Day 590

Fourteen Hair Metal Bands from the '80s, revamped for the Trump Era:

14. Dangerous Goys

13. Enuff Z’Nuff, GTFO Already

12. Right Winger

11. Great White Dope

10. Warrant Forthcoming

9. Orangesnake

8. Pay Off the Vixen

7. Britny Fox & Friends

6. Cinderfelon

5. Grab Her By the Faster Pussycat

4. Mötley Crüe in the Sitüàtiön Rööm

3. White Lyin’

2. Ratt in the White House

 and

1. Dokken in a Porn Star.

Silver Lining, Day 589

Imagining Donald Trump planning his funeral and wondering if Putin would make the trip to deliver the eulogy.