Silver Lining, Day 830

HBO rejected Donald's suggestion that they reanimate Tony Sorano for the Game of Thrones finale.

Silver Lining, Day 829

Donald just found out he can't get one of the Game of Thrones dragons for his rallies. Instead, he is trying to convince Kellyannne Conway to take up fire-eating.

Silver Lining, Day 828

A normal person sees that this used to be guitar. It is irrevocably broken and will no longer make music. A Trumpublican sees the same thing and blames the mainstream media for fake news, claims it's a VERY FINE GUITAR, and says it plays wonderful melodies, like Dixie.

Silver Lining, Day 827

In honor of National Sense of Smell Day, I invite everyone to throw own their windows and relish the fetid aroma of The Garbage Presidency.

Silver Lining, Day 826

You can't spell 

P ON M' TURD 

without 

DON TRUMP.

Silver Lining, Day 825

Donald does Depeche Mode....

Very Fine People can be racist, you see?
So why does the mainstream media so despise me?

So we're different shades of orange
And we're different creeds
And Very Fine People have different needs
It's obvious we hate you
It's why I'm singing this song
I never liked a person
Who would tell me I'm wrong.

I have tiny hands
And a mushroom glans
I love my Twitter fans
And Julian Assange

Very Fine People can be Racists, you see?
So why do all the Democrats so despise me?

Help me understand

Now you're claiming I colluded
I'm Obstructor-in-Chief
Just try and impeach this electoral thief
I've never been honest
I say truth barely exists
Watch alternative facts
Become deplorable myths

I have tiny hands
And a mushroom glans
I love my Twitter fans
And my Fox and friends

Help me understand

Very Fine People can be Racists you see?
So why does half the country think I'm such a big creep?

So Mueller's little "report"
Saw the light of day
And my toadie Barr
Made it go away
My sly fox friends
Say it exonerated me
Even tho it didn't
But who you gonna believe?
The Bullshit-Artist-in-Chief
Or some schmucks on TV?

Help me understand
What's really wrong with the Klan?
If they so adore me, how bad can they be?
Watch out for AOC
And that crazy Bernie!

Putin understands
He loves my tiny hands
And my mushroom glans
And Julian Assange
And my Twitter fans

Why don't you understand?
We're Americans......

Silver Lining, Day 824

Reports of Melania having a "Thanks Obama" tramp stamp are unfounded. But can you even imagine?

Silver Lining, Day 823

Trump tries hand at composing a poem for National Poetry Month. Gives up after being stumped by the tricky word "innocent."

Silver Lining, Day 822

In celebration of Earth Day, I urge the planet to have a healthcare professional treat it for the tangerine polyp growing in it's nether region.

Silver Lining, Day 821

Imagining Trump and Limbaugh golfing on Good Friday and comparing notes on how to win the Nobel Piece of Shit Prize.

Silver Lining, Day 820

Trump asked to leave Kushner family seder after he refers to Pharaoh and the taskmasters as "very fine people."

Silver Lining, Day 819

When others do my heavy lifting.

Silver Lining, Day 818

Ten Classic Novels, Republished by the GOP for the Trump Era.

Silver Lining, Day 817

It's like Christmas Eve, but Donnie knows he's getting a stocking full of coal jobs.

Silver Lining, Day 816

Trump's call for "flying water tankers" to save Notre Dame cathedral sounded too much like "lying daughter spankers" for me to believe that he was actually thinking about Paris when he tweeted. #dirtyoldpotus

Silver Lining, Day 815

Trump refutes "global warming" because he keeps hearing that Winter is Coming.

Silver Lining, Day 814

Trump defends the White Walkers, notes that "they used to be some very fine people."

Silver Lining, Day 813

All the boobs in Game of Thrones took out a restraining order against the Trump Organization.

Silver Lining, Day 812

Donald sees photo of Black Hole, demands NASA call cops. Thankfully, they ignore him.

Silver Lining, Day 811

100 more silver linings until Rudy Giuliani has an orgasm.

Silver Lining, Day 809

How come we didn't get one of those common side effects warnings when Trump was elected? Had people known they would suffer from hair loss, nausea, and anal leakage, they may have voted for someone else.

Silver Lining, Day 807

Kirstjen Nielsen is now free to work the ball pit at Fievel's Playland.

Silver Lining, Day 806

Betsy DeVos managed to successfully pull her head out of her own ass today. She saw her own shadow and plopped it right back in, which means *at least* six more weeks of that outhouse smell in Washington.

Silver Lining, Day 805

Yesterday's silver lining was redacted by AG Barr.

Silver Lining, Day 803

We'll stop talking about Russia, when you stop talking about Benghazi. #OrHerEmails

Silver Lining, Day 802

No matter what comes out of The Swamp, as long as I have My Love by my side, I will prevail. Here's to 24 years of amazing marriage, and decades more ahead! I love you, Melanie Liss Cohen, always a silver lining to any cloudy day! xoxo

Silver Lining, Day 801

My attorney says I can ignore the Cease & Desist letter from the Trump Organization. I'm the least of their problems!