Silver Lining, Day 861

I think Donald, since he is so great and healthy, should be the first president to climb Everest. It's not dangerous at all! And take Mitch McConnell with you, Don, he looks like he could use some fresh air!

Silver Lining, Day 860

You know the news item that says those bathroom hand driers are unhealthy because they reportedly suck fecal matter in from the atmosphere?

In America, Congress is our moral hand dryer, sucking in fecal matter from the Oval Office and then blowing hot shitty air all over the people.

The good news is, if we know what the problem is, we can fix the hand drier, and then Congress can DO THEIR JOB PROPERLY, and the shitstorm can stop. Call your congressional representatives and tell them to do their jobs.

Silver Lining, Day 859

If a Democrat, as president, had done and continued to do what Donald Trump has said and done, you could power the world for decades on the fury of Republicans and Fox News. Good thing my Silver Linings machine uses hypocrisy for fuel.

Silver Lining, Day 858

The Emperor Penguin has no clothes. And it is not housebroken.

Silver Lining, Day 857

Remembering all the men and women who gave their lives serving the United States. I'll waste keystrokes on lesser forms of humanity on another day.

Silver Lining, Day 856

Japanese sports historians agree, it was the first time ever that the biggest ass in the arena wasn't part of the competition.

****In no way am I disparaging sumo wrestlers. They are incredible athletes. However, they do compete in a sport where being large is advantageous. So, I am exploiting the fact that they have large buttocks so I can disparage the greatest ass of all-time, Donald Trump.*****

Silver Lining, Day 855

I can't say for sure that the body of the president hasn't been taken over by an alien life form like the character Dick played by John Lithgow in Third Rock from the Sun, but it would sure explain a lot.

Silver Lining, Day 854

This about sums it up. And it's made in Ghyna! Thanks JJ Ohlinger for the picture!

Silver Lining, Day 853

This morning's awesomeness outside my window at work. #SemperFi

Silver Lining, Day 852

When you see a baby crying in public, just go up to it and say, "Awwww, what's the matter? Why so presidential?"

Silver Lining, Day 851

Trump binge-reads The Bible, complains on Twitter that "the ending was lousy," blames Benioff, Weiss and HBO for "phoning it in," calls on Fox News writers to re-write Revelations, making it more "upbeat and easier to understand."

Silver Lining, Day 850

Now that Game of Thrones is over and done, people can go back to directing their rage at things that actually matter in their lives. Like the rights of women that are being eroded right before our eyes, the Trump tax masquerading as tariffs, and that stale scent of treasonous leadership that still stinks up the joint.

Silver Lining, Day 848

The worst thing about the Preakness? All those horses asses reminded me of the Trump administration. And the Alabama/Missouri/Ohio/Georgia legislatures. And horseshit.

Silver Lining, Day 847

Updated state mottos for the week ending May 17, 2019-

Alabama: Audemus jura nostra defendere, translated as "We dare to defend our rights." This is now Biggus Albus Dickus Audemus jura nostra defendere, or "We dare to defend the rights of our big white dicks."

Georgia: "Wisdom, Justice and Moderation" has been changed to "Jism, Injustice, and Extremist Tomfuckery."

Ohio: "With God, all things are possible." Added an asterisk with the note "Applies to men only." 

And Missouri, the Show Me No Mercy State, the Latin for "The Welfare of the People is the Highest Law," has been updated to mean "The Welfare of the Hypocrites is the Highest Law."

Silver Lining, Day 846

This.

Silver Lining, Day 845

I've been mulling all day the horrible legislation of our Georgias and Alabamas and Ohios as womens' rights are stripped away by terrible misguided lawmakers. There is no remake of Sweet Home Alabama here. Georgia is on my mind, but in the worst possible way.

I can only hope that this war that is being waged will unite the fractured left and empower the people to vote these fuckers out of office and reverse these horrible laws that prioritize clusters of cells over the lives of actual sentient human beings.

In Birmingham they may love the Gov'nor
But we should do what we can do
The hypocrisy it so bothers me
Let your conscience be your truth!

 Support Women's Rights in America!

Silver Lining, Day 844

It's a good thing Donald doesn't have a pet dog because it would be the ugliest, slobberiest creature alive, shitting everywhere and humping anything with boobs.

Silver Lining, Day 843

Silver Lining, Day 843 was burned to a crisp by Drogon.

Silver Lining, Day 842

I'm just gonna call him President King's Landing.

Silver Lining, Day 841

Distracted walking, I missed the top step and stumbled down not one, not two, not three, but four flights of stairs (approximately 28 steps in all) as my life flashed before my eyes and the family watched in horror. Amazingly, gravity may have had it's way with me, but I miraculously stuck the landing, avoiding catastrophe or any injury whatsoever. Relieved, Melanie and the girls laughed a full five minutes.

Not today, steps. Not today.

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Silver Lining, Day 840

If you give a mouse a cookie, he'll testify in your impeachment trial.

Silver Lining, Day 839

Saying you Trumpeted when you farted is so much more apropos these days.

Silver Lining, Day 838

I wish someone would redact all those hours I spent watching The Apprentice in the 2000s, when I simply thought of Trump as a conman buffoon and not a treasonous excuse for a carbon-based life form.

Silver Lining, Day 837

Donald, stop leaving your fliers on the train!

Silver Lining, Day 836

Donald embarrassed about his tax returns because he did them in crayon.

Silver Lining, Day 835

The 2016 Presidential Election outcome was not a good one. It was a rough & tumble race on a wet and sloppy track, actually, a beautiful thing to watch. Only in these days of Russian meddling could such an outcome occur. The best candidate did NOT win the election - not even close!

Silver Lining, Day 833

Ten other things that Donald and Vladimir discussed during their call today.

10. Putin's nipples

9. Donald's nipples

8. Kim Jong Un's nipples

7. Bashar al-Assad's nipples

6. Nicolas Maduro's nipples

5. Teresa May's nipples

4. Silvio Berlusconi's nipples

3. Justin Trudeau's nipples

2. Xi Jinping's nipples

 And

1. How Vlad is going to help Don get reelected in 2020.

Silver Lining, Day 832

Hey Trump, you stick to your bullshit and I'll stick to mine!

Silver Lining, Day 831

Trump tries to tweet a picture of his tax returns , blows a hole in the space time continuum and turns into a boil on the butt of William Barr. No one really notices.