New Offerings from the Trump Brewpub! Impeachment Specials!
Devin Nunes Barley Whine
This strong ale tastes a lot like sour grapes, but it is classified as a beer, due to its gnarly barley notes. Popular among suck-ups and sycophants, this brew will make you feel taller and more infatuated with the sound of your own voice. Disclaimer: too much of this may make you want to sue a fake cow on Twitter.
Sondland Session IPA
This basic brew doesn't pack the punch of your stronger IPAs, but it will certainly make you sit up and take notice. Has the unique trait of instilling a knowledge of Latin upon its imbiber, like "Quid Pro Quo" and "Et tu, Trumpe?"
Giuliani Bitter
Once revered as a stand-up brew, this amber pale ale will destroy your reputation, cause you to blabber incoherently, force you to butt-dial the media, and give you a strange aversion to garlic and sunlight. Too many of these beers will drive a stake through your shrinking heart.
Hypocri-saison
This carbonated, fruity and seasoned quaff will have you scratching your head and wondering, if a Democrat had done this, would we still need foreign oil? The answer, of course, is no, as we would be able to power the nation on the self-righteous rage of Republicans for at least a generation. It tastes okay, but then again, that's only if Fox News tells you it does, right?
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