Silver Lining, Day 1165

It took a global pandemic to eliminate school shootings.

Silver Lining, Day 1164

They opened this up around the corner from me in Brooklyn last month and the world turned to shit. #JustSayin #FourSlicesOfTheApocalypse

Silver Lining, Day 1163

You can't spell incompetent rube without T R U M P. #pandemicsilverliningsaresufferingtoo

Silver Lining, Day 1162

When this happens.

Silver Lining, Day 1161

Don hates social distancing - he hasn't been able to grab a pussy in weeks.

Silver Lining, Day 1159

Start with your rallies, and see how that goes for you, Orange Buffoon.

Silver Lining, Day 1158

Quarantine for the Donaldvirus. Let his "very best people" take it from here.

Silver Lining, Day 1157

 

Silver Lining, Day 1156

Donald thought Zoom meetings were great until he learned people could mute him. #IfOnly

Silver Lining, Day 1155

While we're wondering when our toilet paper supply will run out, NFL players are signing multi-million dollar deals in free agency. It's quite surreal.

Silver Lining, Day 1154

The occasional moment of levity ... like when an employee emails asking about taking Emergency Dick Leave.

Silver Lining, Day 1153

In 9 months, we can all make fun of everyone naming their babies Karona, Kwarantine, and Quovid.

Silver Lining, Day 1152

Until only recently, Donald thought the expression was "Erin Go Bra-less."

Silver Lining, Day 1151

Not worried about getting pinched tomorrow for not wearing green.

Silver Lining, Day 1150

At least it's not snowing?

Silver Lining, Day 1149

President Trump tested negative for the coronavirus. All that means is, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't spell it correctly, despite his best efforts.

Silver Lining, Day 1148

When the world is going to Hell, I'm happy to share my brightest and most beautiful silver lining with you all. Happy Birthday to the woman who keeps me left of center!

Silver Lining, Day 1147

Donald won't be in a bad mood after he gets knocked out of the March Madness bracket.

Silver Lining, Day 1145

Thinning the herd.

Silver Lining, Day 1144

Don't worry Citizens, Donald has a magic Sharpie that will make this all go away.

Silver Lining, Day 1143

While the rest of us are acknowledging this International Women's Day, Donald is unclear of the concept and spends his hours flipping through mail-order bride catalogs.

Silver Lining, Day 1142

Spring Forward Bonus.....one less hour of potential early morning tweets!

Silver Lining, Day 1141

Mick Mulvaney out just days after an obscure Silver Lining pun (Varicose Mulvanes - day 1136). Coincidence? I think not!

Silver Lining, Day 1140

Nevertheless, she persisted. In the Senate.

Silver Lining, Day 1139

Ten random inanimate objects in my office that are better suited to be president than the current Moronavirus.

Silver Lining, Day 1138

Ten More Ways to Defeat the Coronavirus, the Trump Way.

10. Make sure you sanitize your hands before touching the flagpole while raising your Confederate flag. 

9. Stay away from Melania Trump and Karen Pence.... heaven knows what their filthy-handed husbands have transmitted in their awkward gropings.

8. Make sure you drink a gallon of the Red Kool-Aid, daily.

7. Avoid having unprotected sex with porn stars without first getting a Non-Disclosure Agreement.

6. Pass on the St. Patrick's Day kegger that Brett Kavanaugh is throwing.

5. Shake hands with everyone you see, making sure that Mitch McConnell is included in every other handshake.

4. Drink Bleach, but only if you think it doesn't matter what Donald says or does, as long as your investments are growing.

3. Make sure you wait to vote until the day AFTER the general election in November, to avoid crowds.

2. Avoid FOX News, as there are unconfirmed reports that Sean Hannity is a powerful warlock who can infect people, just with the sound of his voice.

 And

1. Listen carefully to what Donald says. Then do the opposite.

Silver Lining, Day 1137

Melania made Don get rid of the Alexa in the White House because he kept saying it sounded like she had a great rack.

Silver Lining, Day 1136

Ten Other Diseases We Should Be Worried About Catching in the Trump Era: 

10. Fox & The Bends

9. Assholaryngitis

8. Varicose Mulvanes

7. Lockjaw Them Up

6. Factophobia

5. Steve Mnuchinhausen by Proxy

4. William Barrcinoma

3. Contrumption

2. Betsy DeVossification

 and

1. Chlamydiocy