Silver Lining, Day 1319

Donald promises if you reelect him, his tweets will be spelled bettur.

Silver Lining, Day 1314

Donald Trump is the Pool Boy of American presidents.

Silver Lining, Day 1313

Kinda makes you miss Clint Eastwood and his empty chair.

Silver Lining, Day 1312

What it feels like watching the Republican National Convention....

Silver Lining, Day 1311

This is a presidential artifact I was stoked to find on the way back from upstate New York. Totally unrelated to D.T. but worth sharing here.

Silver Lining, Day 1310

Melania only did to the Rose Garden what Donald did to Stormy Daniels. I mean, the country.

Silver Lining, Day 1308

New theory about what killed the dinosaurs - Bill DeBlasio and a DeLorean.

Silver Lining, Day 1307

If Jill Biden's speech last night sounded familiar, it's because a lot of it is from Melania's speech next week.

Silver Lining, Day 1306

This morning I tripped over something on the sidewalk outside of work. It was the bar the Republican party set for presidential qualifications.

Silver Lining, Day 1305

"His only pre-existing condition was trusting Donald Trump," Kristin Urquiza.

Silver Lining, Day 1304

The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, Renamed in Donnie's Honor..... 

1. Great Pyramid Scheme of Sleaza-a 

2. Hanging Gardens of Babblin' Like an Idiot 

3. Temple of Heartlessness at Epheseus 

4. Statue of Zeus Hannity at Obsequia 

5. Mausoleum at Halicarnasshats 

6. Colossus of Toadies 

7. Blighthouse of Alexpanderia

Silver Lining, Day 1303

He likes his name on things, let's just call it the Trump Virus.

Silver Lining, Day 1301

When Trump and Pence are out, they can star in the remakes of the following cop buddy films (thanks John Beck for the inspiration): 

10. 21 Trump Street 

9. Mar-a-Lago Vice 

8. Man-splaining Day 

7. Last Redaction Hero 

6. Sad Boys (or, if you prefer, Bad Goys) 

5. 48 Hours of Testimony/Another 48 Hous of Testimony 

4. Rush's Last Hour 

3. Stop or Mike's Wife Will Shoot! 

2. No Can Tango and Cashless 

 and 

1. Stomach-Turner & Douche

Silver Lining, Day 1300

Conspiracy Theory - Donald was replaced in the first 100 days by a sophisticated chicken in a robot. Pence has said nothing because he likes his robot chicken eggs, over easy.

Silver Lining, Day 1299

The Earth just reversed its axis for a few seconds as Donald's head spun around wildly trying to figure out how many different ways he can mispronounce Kamala's name.

Silver Lining, Day 1298

Quality Control flagged yesterday's silver lining (Trump's head on Mt.Rushmore is like a MAGA hat on the Mona Lisa) as falling below standards. Writer acknowledges he was just "phoning it in before bedtime" and offered these alternatives..... Putting Trump's head on Mt. Rushmore is like putting.... 

7. Robot Arms on the Venus De Milo 

6. A French tickler on Michaelangelo's David 

5. A keytar solo in the middle of Stairway to Heaven 

4. An "I'm With Stupid" t-shirt on the Statue of Liberty 

3. Mickey Mouse ears on the Sydney Opera House 

2. A World Series ring on a Houston Astro 

 Or 

1. A "Free Hugs" pin on The Donald.

Silver Lining, Day 1297

Trump's head on Mt. Rushmore would be like giving the Mona Lisa a MAGA hat.

Silver Lining, Day 1296

Screw the GOP, Donnie is the leader of the ....

Silver Lining, Day 1295

Donald's NPR name is Gold Lamé Manson.

Silver Lining, Day 1294

Latest cure for you know what.... Russian hooker pee.

Silver Lining, Day 1293

When Donald flees the U.S. and goes into exile in Russia, he will be a guest judge on Dancing with the Tsars.

Silver Lining, Day 1292

Spotted on my bike ride this morning ..... when someone spray paints your rig and misspells "truck."

Silver Lining, Day 1291

Hey Big D, if you call it a Chinese virus because it's a virus that came from China, I'll just call you a Sad Vagina racist because you're a racist that came from.... well you know.

Silver Lining, Day 1290

Free condoms and anti-bacterial lube for Trump at the local Rite-Aid!