Silver Lining, Day 1448

 My friend John suggested a remake of Fiddler on the Roof's "Tradition," as "Sedition." I won't steal his idea, bit I will offer this other ditty:

If I won election,

Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum.

All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.

If I were a two-term man.

I wouldn't have to work hard four more years.

Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum.

If I won biddy biddy elec-,

Yidle-diddle-didle-didle tion.

I'd live in a big white house for four more years,

Right in the middle of the swamp.

(Or until I got evicted by the Congress.)

There would be one long line of cronies going in,

And one even longer going out,

headed off to prison, just for show.

I'd fill my yard with dicks and lackeys and greasy fucks

For the town to see and hear.

Squawking just as verily as they can

And each loud "cheep" and "squawk" and "honk" and "quack"

Would land like a trumpet on the ear,

As if to say "Here lives an elected man."

If I won election,

Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum.

All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.

If I were a two-term man.

I wouldn't have to work hard four more years.

Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum.

If I won biddy biddy elec-,

Yidle-diddle-didle-didle tion.

I see my wife, Melania, looking like Stockholm Syndrome wife

With a proper thousand yard stare.

Supervising gardens to her heart's delight.

I see her revising her pre-nup and strutting like a peacock.

Oy, what a crappy mood she's in.

Screaming at the step-kids, day and night.

The most important men in town would come to fawn on me!

They would ask me to pardon them,

Like a corrupted king.

"If you please, Herr Donald..."

"Pardon me, Herr Donald..."

Posing problems that would cross a caddy's eyes!

And it won't make one bit of difference if I answer right or wrong.

When you're president, they think you really know!

If I were POTUS, I'd have the time that I lack

To golf on the course all day.

And maybe have a march on the National Mall.

And I'd discuss the conspiracies with the red-hatted kooks, several hours every day.

That would be the sweetest thing of all.

If I won election,

Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum.

All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.

If I were a two-term man.

I wouldn't have to work hard four more years.

Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum.

If I won biddy biddy re-elec-,

Yidle-diddle-didle-didle tion.

Because, you know, I didn’t really win,

But I’ll never say it’s so.