Silver Lining, Day 1257

Ten Other Things That Cause Mark and Patricia McCloskey to come frantically running out of their houses, barefoot, waving guns around: 

10. Ice Cream Truck serving more than just vanilla. 

9. Gardeners aiming to trim those lilies. 

8. Mail carriers with Joe Biden campaign envelopes. 

7. The foul stench of human decency. 

6. Door-to-door Mask Peddlers 

5. Black Cats 

4. Chief Justice John Roberts jogging by singing "Who Let the Laws Out, Who, Who, Who?!!?!" 

3. Dog Whistles 

2. A Mariachi Band playing The Battle Hymn of the Republic

 and 

1. A bare-chested Mike Pence riding a Golden Unicorn

Silver Lining, Day 1256

Moaning about masks and confederate statues makes about as much sense as complaining about your car stereo while ignoring the fact the engine keeps bursting into flames. #BountyGate #BenghaziButBigger

Silver Lining, Day 1255

 

Silver Lining, Day 1254

Silver Lining, Day 1253

If Donald was a breakfast burrito, he'd be a mouthful of chorizo and bullshit. #sethfastburritos

Silver Lining, Day 1252

It's not surprising that this presidency will be defined by a virus. It is, however, a bit of a shock that it's not a sexually-transmitted one.

Silver LIning, Day 1251

The weirdest thing happened in Arizona yesterday. Shortly after Trump signed a section of the border wall, it bounced.

Silver Lining, Day 1250

 Used time machine to go back to 2007 and punch my younger self in the face for watching The Apprentice.

Silver Lining, Day 1249

Oh, to be 154 again!

Silver Lining, Day 1248

In hindsight, now your inauguration numbers look YUUUUUUGE!

Silver Lining, Day 1247

Ten excuses for folks no-showing for the Trump rally in Tulsa: 

10. Re-painting the oil well. 

9. Catching up on Watchmen. 

8. Rediscovering empathy. 

7. Rehearsing production of Oklahoma! 

6. Binge Watching Love Island (UK). 

5. Filling William Barr pinatas with chinchilla feces. 

4. Buying illegal fireworks to send to Brooklyn in a conspiracy to inappropriately disrupt Zoom calls for work-from-home laborers. 

3. Watching Fox News for their daily dose of Donald Fan Fiction. 

2. Karaoke festival of songs banned from MTV. 

 And 

1. Realizing that Tulsa spelled backwards is "a slut," which explains Donald's attraction to T-Town.

Silver Lining, Day 1246

Trump claims he made Juneteenth "very famous." Here are ten other things he has made very famous:

10. Pussy-grabbing 

9. The Hamberder and Covfefe White Supremacist meal at select McDonald's locations 

8. Tweeting conspiracy theories in a tin foil hat with the official White House seal 

7. Omarosa, again and again 

6. Sycophantism 

5. A Hydroxychloroquine Stockpile worth diddly-squat 

4. Covidiocy 

3. Maskaphobia 

2. Unhinged Horribleness 

And 

1. Impeachable Offenses 

#VoteHimOut2020

Silver Lining, Day 1245

Silver Lining, Day 1244

Everyone going to the Tulsa rally will get a red MAGA sippy cup.

Silver Lining, Day 1243

Trump suing to keep Bolton's book from being published, at least until he learns how to read.

Silver Lining, Day 1242

Neil Gorsuch

Silver Lining, Day 1241

Happy Birthday, president trump.

Silver Lining, Day 1240

Would love for statues of Trump to go up just to see the creative ways they come down.

Silver Lining, Day 1238

It's like a terrible play. With 1237 encores.

Silver Lining, Day 1237

If we're focusing on the removal of racist symbols in America, I can think of an orange one that's overstayed its welcome.

Silver Lining, Day 1236

Buffalo protestor linked to Hindenberg, too, warns Trump. Since it was a huge flaming gasbag, Donnie takes it very personally.

Silver Lining, Day 1235

Fox News Hitting the Hard Stories.

Silver Lining, Day 1234

One week to figure out how to ruin Donald's birthday. A Pelosi piñata filled with murder hornets?

Silver Lining, Day 1233

Wondering if Donald got Mexico to pay for this. Asking for a friend.

Silver Lining, Day 1232

Yesterday's Silver Lining was unfriended because people are not comfortable with their own racism.

Silver Lining, Day 1230

When the Mad Dog bites.

Not Really a Silver Lining, Day 1229

When COVID-19 cases start to rise, and people want to blame the protestors, remember, America, a week ago states were opening up and assholes all over this country went out, without masks, to "get back to their lives." I'm looking at you, Florida. I'm looking at you, Missouri. I'm looking at you, Texas. I'm looking at you, you precious armed white crybabies in Michigan and beyond, storming the capitols with your weapons of war and meeting no resistance from law enforcement. When the numbers go up, and they will, remember COVID-19 was here, among us, more than a week ago. And we as a nation will reap what we sow.

Slvr Lnng, D 1228

Slvr Lnng, D 1228: Wht sprmcsts stl th vwls frm ths pst nd Trmp blmd t n pcfl prtstrs.