Silver Lining, Day 346

At a Passover seder, earlier this year, my cousin Joe incredulously looked at me at genuine surprise when I said I wasn't stopping after 100 silver linings. I wish I could have, but as long as Donald Trump sits in the White House, I am compelled to continue and make light of the fact that this Marigold Hobgoblin is our president.

I wish all of my friends and family, liberal and conservative, a happy 2018, a year in which I hope to stop proclaiming silver linings, but am resigned to the fact that I won't.

If you want to relive any of my silver linings, they are all archived at http://trumpsilverlinings.blogspot.com.

Silver Lining, Day 345

This silver lining went hunting with Dick Cheney and was shot in the face.

Silver Lining, Day 344

Where most people see another inane comment from Trump about weather, I see his wisdom in every frozen puddle of winter sidewalk vomit.

Silver Lining, Day 343

A small silver lining on a giant turd cloud.

Read it here.

Silver Lining, Day 342

No Executive Order can undo this Chanukah Gift!

Silver Lining, Day 341

Overheard on the radio station in my head:

On the 12th day of Christmas, Bob Mueller sent to me

12 Senate seats a-flipping

11 Putins pooting

10 Tweets inflaming

9 Racists racing

8 Haters hating

7 Hackers hacking

6 Grand juries indicting

5 Golden Showers (from Russian prostitutes who we all know existed, but even the mainstream media is like, yeah, even WE don't want to have to imagine that!)

4 Shrieking Omarosas

3 “Million” Illegal Voters

2 Turtles Named McConnell

And

An Impeachment in Two Thousand Eighteeeeen!

Silver Lining, Day 340

People know me so well I got not one, but two, of these. Merry Christmas all!

Silver Lining, Day 339

Just 6 more months until we start hearing about the war on Christmas again. Merry Christmas to all who celebrate and who are not involved in undermining the Affordable Care Act.

Silver Lining, Day 338

Trump single-handedly sustaining the coal industry considering how much Santa needs for his stocking.

Silver Lining, Day 337

Just came up with the perfect holiday gift for the man who gave a huge break to all his wealthy friends while saddling us with crippling deficits. A week of explosive diarrhea! Now just need suggestions on how to give it to him. Plus, I got a 2-for-1 special, so you're in luck, Mitch McConnell!

Silver Lining, Day 336

Donald finally unifying people! In addition to a tax cut for corporations, 128 nations have openly condemned us! Happy Holidays!


Brushing Aside Trump’s Threats, U.N. General Assembly Condemns U.S. Decree on Jerusalem

Silver Lining, Day 335

Repeal and Replace all of a sudden has a pleasant ring to it.

Silver Lining, Day 334

No chance of conflicted feelings stemming from the Super Bowl champion Green Bay Packers visiting the White House and kissing tangerine ass.

Silver Lining, Day 333

It has been a month since we listed Beatles songs remade for the Trump era, so here's another ten.

10. Baby You’re a Rich Man (Let’s Cut Your Taxes)

9. And Your Former Campaign Manager Can Sing

8. Do You Want to Know a Secret (I Have the BEST Secrets)

7. Mean Mr. Mueller

6. Roll Over, Ron Reagan

5. You’re Goring to Lose That Deduction, Girl

4. Strawberry Fields Foreclosure

3. Magical Mystery Manure (feat. Sarah Huckabee Sanders)

2. Lovely Ajit-a

and

1. The Long and Winding Road to Impeachment

Silver Lining, Day 332

When the internet does the work for you. Thanks to my friend Sean for sending me this and saving me the embarrassment of posting my own list.

Silver Lining, Day 331

Article in the "failing" New York Times about how Trump's name is increasingly being used as a racist taunt. So the "U" in U.S.A. is now being used ironically.

Silver Lining, Day 330

Sometimes he doesn't deserve me.

Silver Lining, Day 329

Trump saying he has never met Annette Neutrality, so he couldn't possibly have sexually assaulted her.

Silver Lining, Day 328

I was prepared this morning to wake up and post a list of ten new things that GOP stood for (Gelded Outrageous Penguin-clubbers was my favorite), but the people of Alabama demonstrated that they have more decency than the Harasser-in-Chief and the Gutless Obedient Poseurs who backed Moore. 

But I also got a response from a message I sent to my gerrymandered U.S. Representative Dan Donovan, telling me how great the new tax law is going to be for this country, despite the fact that it won't be. So, silver lining within a silver lining, I may not be able to refer to the GOP as a "Gaggle of Pedophiles," I can still call them "Greedy Old Politicians," or, if you prefer something a bit more colorful, "Grandiose Obnoxious Pricks."

Not Really A Silver Lining, Day 327

PETA protesting in Washington after reports that Donald has head lice. Normally they don't get involved when a pig gets lice, but in this case, they feel it is exceptionally cruel to the lice.

Silver Lining, Day 326

For the millennials in our lives, here are ten Taylor Swift songs (out of 124), repurposed for the Trump Era.

10. “Fifteen (Accusers)”
9. “Beautiful Lies”
8. “You’re Not Sorry (Why Should I Be?)”
7. “How You Get the Girl at the Pageant”
6. “I Know Places (Like Guam)”
5. “Lecherous”
4. "“We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, Billy Bush”
3. “22 (Accusers)”
2. “You Knew I Was Trouble”

And

1. “I Did Something Vlad”

Silver Lining, Day 325

Trump says a Washington Post reporter should be fired for a misleading tweet about his crowd size over the weekend. That's so rich I won't need dessert for a month!

Silver Lining, Day 324

Gotta hand it to Trump, he inconsequentially helped break the South's cold snap by spewing a lot of hot air in Florida. #HailToTheGasbag

Silver Lining, Day 323

Ten Michael Jackson songs you don't even have to rename for the Trump Era:

10. Leave Me Alone
9. Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
8. Bad
7. Scream
6. Stranger in Moscow
5. Off the Wall
4. Dangerous
3. State of Shock
2. Smooth Criminal

And

1. Beat It

Silver Lining, Day 322

Holiday gift hack for the Trump fan in your life - save $$ by making your own Donald tree ornament using only a urinal cake, yellow highlighter and a paper clip! Make your tree great again!

Silver Lining, Day 321

Ten things about the Trump GOP tax bill that aren't true but wouldn't be surprising if they were.

10) All election expenses are 100% deductible, as long as they were paid in rubles.
9) Extra 20% tax penalty if your name is Hillary.
8) In Alabama, you can claim your sexual assault accusers as dependents.
7) Tattooing the President's face above your ass crack (Trump Stamp) is fully deductible.
6) If you have a son named Eric, you can no longer claim him as a dependent.
5) Damages to foreign hotel rooms caused by prostitutes are now deemed legitimate business expenses.
4) If you run for public office, you get an additional dollar for every person who voted for your opponent illegally.
3) Residents of states bordering the Pacific Ocean must pay an additional 10% because their very existence is tantalizing Kim Jong Un.
2) If you are fluent in more than one language, you must pay an additional 15% "intellectual elite" penalty.

And

1) Every taxpayer gets a $10,000 Make America Great Again refund, to be paid out yearly, in 25 cent installments.

Silver Lining, Day 320

Good news if you are a pedophile! There's a path to Congress for you! Step 1: Be a pedophile. Step 2: Be a Republican. Step 3: Deny being a pedophile. Step 4: Get presidential and GOP endorsement. Easy Peasy! Is America great again yet?

Silver Lining, Day 319

I created a new drinking game. Every time Trump tells the truth, you drink. Think of the money we'll save on booze!

Silver Lining, Day 318

The Traitor in Chief and his syphilitic GOP Congressional tax plan make my fantasy football woes seem much less traumatic.

Tin Lining, Day 317

If you like thick, steaming, smelly shit sandwiches, you're in luck. The Republican party just served us a huge one.

Silver Lining, Day 316

Ten Gershwin songs re-recorded for the Trump Era:

10. "They Can't Take That Away From Me (Or Maybe They Can)"
9. "But Not for Me (Immunity)"
8. "Nice Work If You Can Abet It"
7. "Someone To Watch Over Me" feat. MC Vlad
6. "I Got Mike Flynn (Who Could Ask for Anything More)"
5. "Indictable You"
4. "I've Got a Crushin' on You"
3. "Strike Up the Grand Jury"
2. "S Impeachable"

And

1. "Let's Call the Whole Thing Treason"