Silver Lining, Day 588

Ten Prince songs rebranded for the Trump era: 1

10. Sign O' the Failing New York Times

9. I Wanna Be Your Tweeter

8. 1899

7. Purple Vein

6. U Got the Crook

5. When Doves Cry "Fake News"

4. Darling Nikki Haley

3. Little Red Covfefe

2. I Would Lie 4U

 And

1. Money Don't Matter 2 Night (Michael Cohen Will Wire it 2U 2morrow)

Silver Lining, Day 587

Ten reimagined Nirvana songs for the Trump Era (part 1):

10. Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Trump Tower

9. Territorial Russian Hooker Pissings

8. No Apologies

7. You Know You're Right Wing

6. Polly Graph

5. In Breed

4. Senseless Apprentice

3. Putin Loyal Tea

2. Negative Creep in Chief

 And

1. Smells Like Teen Pageant

Silver Lining, Day 586

Trump Building on Wall Street foreshadowing a life behind bars...

Silver Lining, Day 585

Ten Madonna Songs, Rerecorded for the Trump Era, part 1:

10. Build a Wall Around La Isla Bonita

9. Borderline Personality Disorder

8. Likes a Virgin (But Never Met One)

7. Crazy for You (But Really Just Crazy, in General)

6. Lucky Porn Star

5. Burning Up (the Constitution)

4. Recuse Me (feat. MC Sessions)

3. Don’t Cry for Me, Sean Hannity

2. Like a (Hush Money) Payer

 and

1. Papa, Don’t Impeach

Silver Lining, Day 584

Of course the White House flag is not at half staff. It's too much of a painful reminder of Donnie's last night with Stormy.

Silver Lining, Day 583

Boon to the pest control industry as the executive branch is overrun by cockroaches.

Silver Lining, Day 582

John McCain. At least you don't have to listen to the Bully-in-Chief taking potshots at you anymore. You possessed far greater courage and dignity than Donald Trump ever had.

I may not have supported you as a presidential candidate, but your service and dedication to our country are undeniable.

P.S. If you're thinking of sticking around as a ghost, please go haunt the crap out of the tiny little man making a mockery of our government.

Silver Lining, Day 581

That Nobel Peace prize is looking even less likely, now.

Silver Lining, Day 580

Visiting D.C., remembering what class and dignity look like....

Silver Lining, Day 579

At the Renwick Gallery in Washington D.C.:

Silver Lining, Day 578

Best fake news ever. I wonder what kind of fake food they serve in fake prison?

Silver Lining, Day 577

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

DT: Sure.

[Spontaneous Combustion]

Rudy: Told ya!

Silver Lining, Day 576

The ghost of Joseph McCarthy spotted in the White House moaning about "teaching that imbecile a history lesson."

Silver Lining, Day 575

Earlier this week, Fox News whipped their followers into a short-lived frothy frenzy over a politically-charged Pearl Jam concert poster. In a collaboration with fellow Ten Clubber Dan Miller, here are ten unforeseen outcomes of Pearl Jam tweaking the nose of the current swamp-dwellers at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. The first four are mine, the last six are Dan's, with my editorial touch:

10 - Pearl Harbor to be renamed Putin Harbor.

9 - Plans to outlaw flannel shirts because Don Jr. convinces Dad that’s all that Pearl Jam fans wear. L.L. Bean goes out of business.

8 - Unheeded demands that Seattle secede from the Union.

7 - Snowflakes who complained about the Missoula poster, publicly proclaimed to stop listening to Pearl Jam, resulting in a huge resurgence of Nickelback fanboys.

6 - Band releases “Bu$hleaguer II” which paints W. as less of an asshole, more as a prelude to an asshole.

5 - Eddie changes lyrics of “Release” to include the phrases “golden shower tapes” and “tax returns”. 

4 - Band forced to testify before Congress. Panelists embarrassed that everyone is more coherent, literate, and qualified than most of the House of Representatives.

3 - Trump goes “undercover” to a show, buys a limited edition concert poster, refuses to get a tube, cries when it gets crushed.

2 - Donald convinces ICE that they need to deport keyboardist Boom Gaspar back to Hawai’i.

and

1 - Jeremy given a Non-Disclosure Agreement so he won’t be able to speak in class today.

 Thanks to Dan for the collaboration!

Silver Lining, Day 574

FDA issues recall of Trump brand suppositories after multiple reports that assholes were rejecting them.

Silver Lining, Day 573

When life hands you lemons, you make a silver lining list. Submitted with the greatest respect to the Queen of Soul, here are a dozen Aretha Franklin masterpieces recrafted for the Trump era:

12. Oh Me Oh My (I'm a Fool for You Comey)

11. The House That Donald Defiled 1

10. Cabinet of Fools

9. Dishonest I Do

8. I Never Loved a Con Man (The Way I Love You)

7. Freeway of Love (for Putin)

6. Son of a Racist Real Estate Man

5. (Don't) Think

4. Ain't No Way (to Run a Country)

3. I Say a Little Prayer (for Bigger "Hands")

2. Disrespect

and

1. You Make Me Feel Like (A White Nationalist Woman)

Silver Lining, Day 572

Be offended or be inspired. They're still my favorite band. They have always been political and it's your right to express your opinion. If you are upset by this, don't go to their next show. It just means I will be closer to the stage.

Silver Lining, Day 571

Donald, in a bid to come off as more esoteric and worldly, commissioned a Shakespeare Festival for the White House. These are the ten plays reworked for the Trumps:

10. Shamlet

9. The Cabinet of Errors

8. As You Like It, Vladimir

7. The Merry Wives of Donald

6. The Blaming of the News

5. King Fear (starring Ivanka as Regan, Tiffany as Goneril, and Don Jr. as Cordelia)

4. Julius, Seize Her... (directed by Billy Bush)

3. All's Well That Ends Well (As Long As It Ends in Impeachment)

2. Tweetus Andronicus

And

1. Romeo and Juliet, Who Was Really, Like, a Four, at Best. She Was Very Overrated.

Happy Birthday to my favorite Shakespeare fan xoxo!

Silver Lining, Day 570

Cabinet members ignored Trump's suggestion to fix Turkey's financial crisis by "slathering a little mayo on it."

Silver Lining, Day 569

Taking the lead from Russian asbestos manufacturer, American businesses are adding the Donald Trump seal of approval on their products. First up, the Vivid Video POTUS collection, starring Stormy Daniels and all the other actresses who have known him biblically.

Silver Lining, Day 568

The final installment of candies, re-branded for the Trump era.

I hope you like exercise, because a lot of these are a stretch ;-).

10- Hershey’s Kisses Dictators’ Asses

9- Not So Good & Plenty Batshit Crazy

8- Milky Kellyanne Conway

7- Bit-o-Comey

6- Jujuhuckabees

5- Pay Day for the 1%

4- Twitterfinger

3- Mounds of Evidence

2- Skor with Putin

and

1- Hershey’s My Daughter, Otherwise I’d Date Her

Silver Lining, Day 567

Waiting for the one NFL player to take a knee and say he is doing it to show his support of the president.

Silver Lining, Day 566

Trump pardons renowned cat burglar Bill Mason because he thinks there's nothing wrong with grabbing pussies.

Silver Lining, Day 565

Ten More Candies, Re-branded for the Trump Era (part two):

10 - Don Junior Mints

9 - Swedish Fish Tariffs

8 - Snoflake-Caps, or, if you prefer, Sno-MAGA Caps

7 - Almond Joyless

6 - Grab ‘em By the Kit Kat

5 - Tweet Farts

4 - Take the 5th Avenue

3 - Red Hots for Ivanka

2 - Reese’s Pee Tapes

and

1- Long Live Baby Ruth Bader Ginsburg!

Silver Lining, Day 564

Ten Candies, rebranded for the Trump era (part one): 1

10- Not Very Smarties

9- White House Whoppers

8- Putin Pay Day

7- Pixy Stix it in Anything

6- Sour Patch Kids in Cages

5- Everlasting GOPstopper

4- Racistettes

3- Pornstarburst

2- Three Racketeers

And

1- Tobleroned by Russia

Silver Lining, Day 563

Donald's new favorite grocery store is Traitor Joe's.

Silver Lining, Day 562

Fleet® Labs denies existence of tangerine-infused "Enema of the State" product.

Silver Lining, Day 561

Trump visits Aloha Poke Company, disappointed he isn't allowed to grab anyone, let alone poke them.

Silver Lining, Day 560

I missed a day so I am posting this one, which never made it, because Roy Moore lost his election bid. I had this one in the hopper, expecting he would win, and then he miraculously lost. Rather than delete it, I saved it for a rainy day, 213 days later:

Silver Lining, Day 347: Relishing the fact that Roy Moore is likely going to have a unhappy 2018. You know, since he doesn't like anything past '16.

Silver Lining, Day 559

When Donald misspeaks, it's not lying, it's TRUMPAGANDA.

Silver Lining, Day 558

Trump also calling for an end to cats and dogs living together.