Silver Lining, Day 1396

Our president needs to shut the fuck up and maybe try and save some lives. 

This is from just before 9am. TODAY. 

Friends and family, Democrats and Republicans, alike. I implore you to PLEASE contact your elected representatives in Congress and beg them to curb our Orange Julius Caesar!

Silver Lining, Day 1395

On the bike today, I saw a truck with a Trump 2020: Make Liberals Cry Again decal. 

Tears of Irony.

Silver Lining, Day 1394

It really is remarkable how little Donny-boy cares about the United States. His antipathy knows no bounds.

Silver Lining, Day 1393

Is it considered an ass-kicking now?

Silver Lining, Day 1392

Q-Annoying

Silver Lining, Day 1391

Apologies to R.E.M. 

Oh, lies are bigger 

Are bigger 

Than you and you are not me 

The lengths that I will go to 

The resistance in your eyes 

Oh no, I've said too much 

I set it up 

That's me on the golf course 

That's me in denial 

Losing my election 

Trying to keep up with Q 

And I don't know if I can do it 

Oh no, I've said too much 

I haven't said enough 

I thought that I saw you laughing 

I thought that I heard you cry 

I think I thought I saw you try 

Every denier 

Of every waking hour 

I'm choosing my suppressions 

Trying to keep an eye on Q 

Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool 

Oh no, I've said too much 

I set it up 

Consider this 

Consider this 

The fraud of the century (that’s me) 

Consider this 

The slip that brought me 

To my knees, reality 

What if all these fantasies 

Come crashing to the ground? 

Now I've said too much 

I thought that I filed a lawsuit, or two, or ten 

I thought that I heard Giuliani 

I think I thought I saw you lie 

But that was just a dream 

A deluded traitorous dream 

That's me in the White House 

That's me in the Twitter 

Losing the election 

Trying to fuck it up for you 

And I don't know if I can do it 

Oh no, I've said too much 

I haven't said enough 

I thought that I heard you Joe-lecting 

I thought that I heard Mitch scream 

I think I thought I started to cry 

But that was just a dream 

Try, lie 

Why try? 

This is just a lie, just scream, just scream 

Scream

Silver Lining, Day 1390

You can kiss next year's Nobel Peace Prize goodbye, too, you big orange baby!

Silver Lining, Day 1389

For a party so resistant to science, it makes sense that they'd have a problem with math, as well.

Silver Lining, Day 1388

Something to chew on. Keep in mind, toward the end, the Trump campaign was cash-poor and had been vastly outspent by Biden.  

Imagine, had Trump embraced science from the get-go, and started mass-producing, selling and marketing MAGA masks , and crimson Trump Masks, and all the variations (I'm convinced "Lock Her Up" masks would have still been best sellers). He would have sold these to his followers by the boatload (one for every day of the week!), and his campaign could have had a huge influx of cash AND his supporters would have worn those masks with zealous abandon. 

Think about it. Not only about the financial possibilities, HOW MANY LIVES WOULD HE HAVE SAVED, especially among his own base? 

One can argue that, had he not mishandled the pandemic from the onset, this election would have gone a much different way. His supporters may not agree, but he also mishandled a huge marketing opportunity that, I argue, would have made a difference and changed history. 

An astute businessman should have known better.

Silver Lining, Day 1387, pt 3

Down one "friend," who blocked/ unfriended me after I left a very empathetic reply on one of his posts. Seriously, folks, give some love to your Trumpsters. They have serious Stockholm Syndrome and need some reprogramming. They have a Supreme Court conservative majority as a consolation prize and still have a shot at controlling the Senate, so keep that in mind. Oh, and there's a fucking pandemic going on. Take care of yourself and one another. Be safe. Wear a mask. COVID-19 doesn't care how you voted.

Silver Lining, Day 1387, pt 2

I'm "claiming" Gold Lamé Duck.

Silver Lining, Day 1387

Not many more of these left. 

Enjoy them while they last. 

#PresidentElectBiden

Silver Lining, Day 1386, NSFW bonus

Donnie has a serious case of BLUE balls.

Silver Lining, Day 1386

Trump supporters are going to need their own 12-step recovery plan when this is all over.

Silver Lining, Day 1385

Guys, I am having second thoughts about my choices. 

After watching what has transpired over the last couple of months, I have seen a lot of hate spewed toward a man who has, time and again, proven to be a winner and overachiever, and I get it, that's what the people who support him like about him. Yes, he's been caught in lies and twisted the truth a little, but he still shows up every day and is there proving his haters wrong time after time. It's normal for people to be jealous of someone who is successful, powerful, and has a lot of money. Throw in that beautiful wife, steadfast by his side, and they hate him even more. I realize now that you may not have wanted him in his role, but he's there now and there's nothing you can do about it. I know it’s possibly going to get worse over the next several days, but I am sold. I'm flipping the script and, love him or hate him, I'm giving him his props .... Tom Brady is really truning things around in Tampa. 

(Borrowed and adapted from Mark Matthews)

Silver Lining, Day 1384 (g)

Just swirl this around your brain a little. Source: NYTimes... 

Andrew Bates, a spokesman for the Biden campaign, said the push for a recount was not the behavior of a winning campaign. “When Donald Trump won Wisconsin in 2016 by roughly the same amount of votes that Joe Biden just did, or won Michigan with fewer votes than Joe Biden is winning it now, he bragged about a ‘landslide,’ and called recount efforts ‘sad,’” Mr. Bates said. “What makes these charades especially pathetic is that while Trump is demanding recounts in places he has already lost, he’s simultaneously engaged in fruitless attempts to halt the counting of votes in other states in which he’s on the road to defeat.” 

And yes, Michigan has been declared for Biden now. 

I'm crossing everything I've got to cross.

Silver Lining, Day 1384 (f)

Donnie's SAT scores were so low, he couldn't even get wait-listed for Electoral College. #funnierinmyhead

Silver Lining, Day 1384 (e)

Richie Torres and Mondaire Jones. Congratulations!

Silver Lining, Day 1384 (d)

Maybe now that #MoscowMitch and #LustyLindsay have won reelection, they can find their spines and muzzle their yapping orange chihuahua? [Please, no hate mail from chihuahua lovers. Thank you!]

Silver Lining, Day 1384 (c)

Every minute that he can't declare himself a winner, he is becoming more unhinged, saying stupid fascist shit that is full of misleading statements and lies that are swallowed whole or disregarded by his supporters. In other words, it's Wednesday.

Silver Lining, Day 1384 (b)

Count every vote. Every vote counts.

Silver Lining, Day 1384 (a)

Stepping in dog shit doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore.

Silver Lining, Day 1383

We here at Silver Linings, Incorporated, endorse Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, even though a Biden Presidency would shut down the Trump Silver Linings plant in Brooklyn. We can deal with shuttering our operation if it means ousting the sexist, racist, xenophobic, vile excuse for a human being from the White House. A hearty thanks to all the Americans who are working as poll workers and doing their part to strengthen and protect our electoral process, a cornerstone of our democracy. Your hard work is recognized and appreciated!

SIlver Lining, Day 1382

A couple of friends have posted this from Bay Ridge. I stole this shot from my city councilman's Twitter feed. It says everything that needs to be said and perfectly encapsulates my view of the Cult of 45.

Silver Lining, Day 1379

Ten Scariest Halloween costumes for diehard Trump supporters... 

10. Science Teacher 

9. Superspreaderman 

8. The Ghost of Ruth Bader Ginsburg 

7. The Mask 

6. Karma Chameleon

5. Fauci the Barbarian 

4. Lindsay Graham, in a Bedazzled McDonald's uniform, asking, "Would y'all like fries with that, Sugar?" 

3. Captain Covfefe

2. President Biden 

 And 

1. Black Anything

Silver Lining, Day 1378

At least he hasn't wiped out a convent in a couple of months.

Silver Lining, Day 1377

Sometimes I miss the subway.

Silver Lining, Day 1376

Three Justices and you're out!

Silver Lining, Day 1375

Even without brains, these guys have more sense than most MAGAts.

Silver Lining, Day 1374

At least he hasn't bought this......yet.

Silver Lining, Day 1373

At least we can still vote. Crossing my fingers, holding my breath, every vote counts.

Silver Lining, Day 1371

Where's a fly when you need it?

Silver Lining, Day 1370

Giuliani. Borat. Russia at it again. 2020 just keeps on giving ...... us the finger.

Silver Lining, Day 1369

Said the tattoo artist to the Trump supporter who wanted a portrait of Donnie on his right butt-cheek, "Sorry, man, won't do it. Too redundant."

Silver Lining, Day 1368

Seriously, the absence of Gary Busey is one of the most disappointing aspects of the Trump presidency. I guess they figured old Gary would have smartened things up too much.

Silver Lining, Day 1367

I have friends who are serious cyclists who chalk up more mileage, but on May 21, I committed to riding every day, even if it was just to and from the ferry and work. I only missed a day in June, one in July, three in September and two last week when it rained. So, 144 of the last 151 days and today I passed the 1000-mile mark. And more importantly, I wore a mask for all thousand miles. #WearAMask

Silver Lining, Day 1366

What Donnie gives his kids, at least the ones he knows about.... #thinkaboutit

Silver Lining, Day 1365

Donald Trump, our Idiot-In-Chief.

Silver Lining, Day 1362

Do you think Donnie gets his asshole bleached? Because Lindsay Graham looks very pale.

Silver Lining, Day 1361

QAnon adherents believe my silver linings are coded recipes for hallucinogenic mojitos. #ProveMeWrong

Silver Lining, Day 1359

Can't get this song out of my head, for some reason.

Silver Lining, Day 1358

Nobel Peace Prize awarded to U.N. World Food Program. It's the damned Emmy Awards all over again!

Silver Lining, Day 1357 (part 2)

What a crazy world! That fly already secured an agent and has already gone into the studio, recorded and released a cover of one of the greatest hits by The Police: 

Giant steps are what you take 

Walking on the Goon 

Made my national debut today 

Walking on the Goon 

He could talk forever 

Walking on the Goon 

He could lie forever 

Walking on, walking on the Goon 

Walking back from the White House 

Walking on the Goon 

Speaking on behalf of a racist Louse 

Walking on the Goon 

Feet they hardly touch the head 

Walking on the Goon 

My fame online it quickly spread 

Walking on, walking on the Goon 

Some may say 

I should test for Corona today 

No way 

And if it's the price I pay 

Some say 

I stole the spotlight away 

You don’t say 

I may as well play 

Giant ego is what I got 

Walking on the Goon 

Famousest Fly, 

I’m so damn hot 

Walking on the Goon 

He could lie forever 

Walking on the Goon 

If I could vote I’d never 

Vote for him or the Orange Loon 

Some may say 

They want Mike and Don to go away 

They pray 

To a penitentiar-ay 

Some say 

Tomorrow's another day 

I say 

I wish I could vote them away 

Veep it up, Veep it up 

Veep it up, Veep it up 

Veep it up, Veep it up 

Veep it up, Veep it up 

Veep it up, Veep it up 

Veep it up, Veep it up

Silver Lining, Day 1357

I'll write something about the fly, but I'm waiting for the buzz to wear off.

Silver Lining, Day 1356

Good thing he stopped banging adult film actresses - otherwise half the eastern seaboard would be on lockdown! 

[Disclaimer: before y'all start commenting, I realize that there is no proof he stopped banging adult film actresses, and I believe many of you want to believe he has not stopped and is just more discreet - i.e. being blackmailed by Putin with a steady stream of Russian sex workers delivered secretively to his hidden bunker deep in the bowels of the White House. That said, let's just assume that he has NOT been banging adult film actresses for the sake of this silver lining, mmm-kay?]

Silver Lining, Day 1355

When gargoyles are smarter than your president.

Silver Lining, Day 1354

So, the takeaway is, if you have quality of care equal to the president, no need to be afraid! You can get COVID, you'll feel better than you did 20 years ago! 

Suckers!

Silver Lining, Day 1353

New Republican theme song, with apologies to 10CC - 

Too many missing votes have fallen in the river 

Too many Gee-O-Pee souls have drifted out to sea 

You make your bed and then embrace the lies 

The things we do for Trump, the things we do for Trump 

Miscommunication is the problem to the answer 

You've got their number and your hand is on the phone 

The media’s turned and all the lines are down 

The things we do for Trump, the things we do for Trump 

Like losing the Senate and the House 

When there's nowhere to grouse 

And you're feelin' like America is dying 

And you're looking for the answer in his lies 

You think you're gonna blow up 

Then he says he’ll never grow up 

Ooh he made us love him 

Ooh he’s got a way 

Ooh he had us calling for a wall 

Like loving Moscow Mitch and adoring Lindsay Graham 

It’s really quite a low-down dirty shame 

That hypocrisy is now a way of life 

And you're looking for the answer in his lies 

You think he’ll never blow it

And then he gets the COVID! 

Ooh he made us love him 

Ooh he’s got a way 

Ooh he had us calling for a wall 

A compromise would surely help unite the nation 

But our agenda needs more right-wing masturbation.

When after all it's just a pack of lies 

The things we do for Trump, the things we do for Trump

The things we do for Trump, the things we do for Trump 

The things we do for Trump, the things we do for Trump 

The things we do for Trump, the things we do for Trump

Silver Lining, Day 1352

I woke up this morning with one friend less than I started with yesterday. Was it something I said?

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (Eta)

I'm out of snark, Facebook friends! I didn't lose anyone today! Tomorrow's another day!

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (Zeta)

This is all RBG's fault/revenge.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (Epsilon)

The Kushner family sukkah is going to suck this year.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (Δ - Delta):

More time to lie around and watch Fox News. Hooray!

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (Γ - Gamma)

And just when he was going to start working on that amazing health plan to replace the ACA. #ofalltheluck #procrastinationnation

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (Beta)

I wouldn't put it past him to request to be intentionally infected with Covid, since we all know he's so sure of his health and that he would know he would recover, and then he could crow that he's immune and no longer needs a mask. #crazypeopledocrazythings

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (Alpha)

If y'all don't believe in science, then God gave COVID-19 to Donnie either to a)test him or b)kill him. Since we know he's not good at tests, maybe embrace the science?

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (Z)

All kidding aside, are we now to believe, without hesitation, an administration that has been more devoid of transparency and honesty than any prior presidency in our nation's history? What if this is an elaborate ruse to conceal something more sinister? #endstagesyphillisfor500Alex

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (Y)

What if one of the side effects is humility? The Horror! The Horror!

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (X)

Mask not what your country can do for you--- mask what you can do for your country.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (W)

From the sounds of things, sounds like Donnie's entourage is more deserving of the moniker Anarchist Jurisdiction.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (V)

How long before Trumpeteers starting throwing COVID-19 parties so they can lend amoral support to Dear Leader?

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (U)

All part of Putin's Plan! #wouldanythingsurpriseyouatthispoint

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (T)

Call me crazy, but I'm kinda curious to see some wacky fever tweets!

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (S)

Haiku.... 

Coronavirus 

Watchu doing in Donnie? 

Blowing up the 'net.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (R)

GOP senators reassured by Dr. Fauci's claim that there are no documented COVID-19 cases linked to gratuitous ass-kissing.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (Q)

Breaking - COVID-19 files restraining order against the Trump Organization.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (P)

Good news for Trumpists! He may have tested positive for COVID-19, but he still tested negative for empathy.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (O)

Or is this just a way to get out of more debates with Biden?

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (N)

Woo hoo! No presidential golf for 14 days! A new record!

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (M)

Don Jr. And Eric are like, "Good thing Dad doesn't like to spend time with us!"

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (L)

Mr. President, Moscow Mitch McConnell needs a long lingering hug, and Lindsay Graham needs an open-mouthed kiss.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (K)

An old man turned seventy-four 

He won the nomination but lost the debate 

It’s a white supremacist fly in your Devil’s food cake 

And isn't it ironic, don't you think? 

It's like COVID-19 before election day 

It's a real thing when you've said it was fake 

It's the good mask advice that you just didn't take 

And who would've thought? We all did…….. 

Mr. Blame Everyone Else was afraid to not lie 

He packed his suitcase and kissed his porn stars goodbye 

He waited his whole damn life to for that Nobel Prize 

And as he placed the Corona on his crown, he thought 

"Well, isn't this nice" 

And isn't it ironic, don't you think? 

It's like COVID-19 before election day 

It's a real thing when you've said it was fake 

It's the good mask advice that you just didn't take 

And who would've thought? We all did…….. 

Well, lies have a funny way 

Of catching up to you, Don 

When you think everything's KKK 

And everything's going white 

And life has a funny way 

Of showing you up 

When you think everything's gone wrong 

And everything blows up in your face 

A hug from Hope Hicks when you've lost your faith 

A "no bullying" sign on your Twitter break 

It's like ten million votes when all you need is an NDA 

It's meeting the Vlad of your dreams 

And then believing his beautiful lies 

And isn't it ironic, don't you think? 

A little too ironic, and yeah I really do think 

It's like COVID-19 before election day

It's a real thing when you've said it was fake 

It's the good mask advice that you just didn't take 

And who would've thought? We all did…….. 

And yeah, well, life has a funny way 

Of catching up to you 

And life has a funny, funny way 

Of seeing you out 

Voting you out 

And isn't it ironic, don't you think? 

At least it’s not Bubonic, you little fink.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (J)

Don't worry, Donnie, the cure is in Hillary's emails.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (I)

Can't blame this on Antifa.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (H)

Put your hydroxychloroquine where your mouth is, Presidunce.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (G)

To Bleach His Own.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (F)

Feel sorry for all the COVID-19 survivors who now have to live with the fact that they have something in common with the BLOATUS.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (E)

Guess you're going to vote by mail, Donwit?

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (D)

Lucky you have government insurance, Stable Tangergenius.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (C)

At least you can work from home, asshole.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (B)

For some reason, the song Sympathy for the Devil is on loop in my brain.

Silver Lining, Day 1351 (A)

Looking at my friends list and noting the number. Wondering how many I will lose today because, well, you know..... I'm just getting started.

Silver Lining, Day 1350

Weird Al

 

https://www.nytimes.com/video/opinion/100000007370133/presidential-debate-weird-al.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage&fbclid=IwAR2lRYyA5tNGPq6YCXUkEHKjWSB7-01NCubNutUsKHEB0yeKnv-qRvn1C18

Silver Lining, Day 1349

Meghan Trainor's "All About That Bass," reimagined for Donny: 

Because you know I'm all about that base 

'Bout that base, not country 

I'm all about that base 

'Bout that base, not country 

I'm all about that base 

'Bout that base, not country 

I'm all about that base 

'Bout that base... base... base... base 

Yeah, it's pretty clear, I ain't no patriot 

But I can fake it, fake it, like I'm supposed to do 

'Cause I got that boom boom that all the lackeys chase 

And all the right debt in all the right places 

I see the NY Times workin' that grammar shop 

We know that news ain't real, come on now, make it stop 

If you got Confederate flags, just raise 'em up 

'Cause every inch of you is racist from the bottom to the top 

Yeah, my mama she told me "don't worry about your lies" 

(Shoo wop wop, sha-ooh wop wop) 

She says, "McConnell like a little more booty to hold at night" 

(That booty, uh, that booty booty) 

You know I won't be no sense making thinking pol 

(Shoo wop wop, sha-ooh wop wop) 

So if that's what you're into, then go 'head and move along 

Because you know I'm all about that base 

'Bout that base, not country 

I'm all about that base 

'Bout that base, not country 

I'm all about that base 

'Bout that base, not country 

I'm all about that base 

'Bout that base... Hey! 

I'm bringing Putin back 

Go 'head and tell them patriotic bitches that 

No, I'm just playing, I know you think I’m fat 

But I'm here to tell you... Every inch of me is owned by Russia from the bottom to the top 

Yeah my mama she told me, "don't worry about your lies" 

(Shoo wop wop, sha-ooh wop wop) 

She says, "Lindsay Graham like a little more booty to hold at night" 

You know I won't be no sense making thinking pol 

(Shoo wop wop, sha-ooh wop wop) 

So if that's what you're into, then go 'head and move along 

Because you know I'm all about that base 

'Bout that base, not country 

I'm all about that base 

'Bout that base, not country 

I'm all about that base 

'Bout that base, not country 

I'm all about that base 

'Bout that base... 

Yeah yeah... ohh... You know you like this base... Hey...

Silver Lining, Day 1348

Debate drinking game. Drink every time #BrokeDonnie lies. It starts in 13 hours and I'm already blitzed.

Silver Lining, Day 1347

That's the ugliest $70K toupee in town.

Silver Lining, Day 1346

Amazing businessman spotted in Bay Ridge......

Silver Lining, Day 1345

When you use Urban Dictionary to vet your half-baked attempts at humor.

Silver Lining, Day 1344

If you're a fan of shit sandwiches, 2020 has been a veritable Smörgåsbord.

Silver Lining, Day 1343

Donnie really likes that WAP song by Cardi B. It really grabbed his attention.

Silver Lining, Day 1342

Sprained my brain trying to wrap my head around how Republicans were more furious about 3 dead Americans in Benghazi than they are about 200,000 (and counting) COVID-19 fatalities.

Silver Lining, Day 1340

If you believe that #MoscowMitch isn't a lying deplorable hypocrite, then you probably believe the Baha Men really care who let the dogs out.

Silver Lining, Day 1337

No matter what went wrong at your wedding, it's unlikely people remember it as a Superspreader Event.

Silver Lining, Day 1334

Science says a steady diet of prevarication and narcissistic involuntary manslaughter is generally bad for your health.

Silver Lining, Day 1333

If Donald loses, some smug conservative asshole is going to do 1300-plus Biden silver linings.

Silver Lining, Day 1332

The Donald Trump of the Animal Kingdom

Silver Lining, Day 1330

Worth repeating. #neverforget

Silver Lining, Day 1328

If you're reading this, great news! Donald didn't kill you with his negligence!

Silver Lining, Day 1326

When I channel Trump on the bicycle. Suck it, Danny!

Silver Lining, Day 1324

Neighborhood heroes.

Silver Lining, Day 1323

Newly-discovered elements, pending addition to the periodic table: Fr - Fraudium In - Insultogen Im - Impeachium Lb - Low Barium

Silver Lining, Day 1322

More renamed elements on the Peirodic Table in honor of the least science-y president, ever! 

1 H - Hydrogenetic Mutation 

30 Zn - Zinc the Constitution 

49 In - Indium Putinspocket 

61 Pm - Promethium Brokennium 

72 Hf - Hafwitnium 

82 Pb - (Failure to) Lead 

85 At - Asshatatine 

89 Ac - Actinium's OwnBestInterestsOnlyum 

95 Am - (NotGoodFor) Americium 

 and 

2 He - Heliumerica, He's Not

Silver Lining, Day 1321

Scientistists have renamed some of the elements on the Peirodic Table in deference to the Flaming Ball of Gases that is Donald Trump. Here are some, expect more in future days. 

10 Ne - Neon-azi 

12 Mg - MAGAnauseum 

14 Si - Silicon-artist 

19 K - Potassholeium 

21 Sc - Scandalium 

28 Ni - Nickelback 

54 Xe - Xenophobion 

55 Cs - CeaseAndDesistium 

115 Mc - Moscovium in our Electionium 

102 No - Nobelium Not for Himium 

To Be Continued.....

Silver Lining, Day 1320

Ten Clint Eastwood movies reformatted for the Trump era.... 

10. The Racist Narcissistic Assholes of Madison County 

9. Pale Derider 

8. High Plains Grifter 

7. Magnum Farce 

6. Every Which Way But Truth 

5. Klan Torino 

4. Million Dollar Crybaby 

3. Pay Misty for Me 

2. A Fistful of Rubles 

 And 

1. The Ugly, The Ugly and The Ugly

Silver Lining, Day 1319

Donald promises if you reelect him, his tweets will be spelled bettur.

Silver Lining, Day 1314

Donald Trump is the Pool Boy of American presidents.

Silver Lining, Day 1313

Kinda makes you miss Clint Eastwood and his empty chair.

Silver Lining, Day 1312

What it feels like watching the Republican National Convention....

Silver Lining, Day 1311

This is a presidential artifact I was stoked to find on the way back from upstate New York. Totally unrelated to D.T. but worth sharing here.

Silver Lining, Day 1310

Melania only did to the Rose Garden what Donald did to Stormy Daniels. I mean, the country.

Silver Lining, Day 1308

New theory about what killed the dinosaurs - Bill DeBlasio and a DeLorean.

Silver Lining, Day 1307

If Jill Biden's speech last night sounded familiar, it's because a lot of it is from Melania's speech next week.

Silver Lining, Day 1306

This morning I tripped over something on the sidewalk outside of work. It was the bar the Republican party set for presidential qualifications.

Silver Lining, Day 1305

"His only pre-existing condition was trusting Donald Trump," Kristin Urquiza.

Silver Lining, Day 1304

The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, Renamed in Donnie's Honor..... 

1. Great Pyramid Scheme of Sleaza-a 

2. Hanging Gardens of Babblin' Like an Idiot 

3. Temple of Heartlessness at Epheseus 

4. Statue of Zeus Hannity at Obsequia 

5. Mausoleum at Halicarnasshats 

6. Colossus of Toadies 

7. Blighthouse of Alexpanderia

Silver Lining, Day 1303

He likes his name on things, let's just call it the Trump Virus.

Silver Lining, Day 1301

When Trump and Pence are out, they can star in the remakes of the following cop buddy films (thanks John Beck for the inspiration): 

10. 21 Trump Street 

9. Mar-a-Lago Vice 

8. Man-splaining Day 

7. Last Redaction Hero 

6. Sad Boys (or, if you prefer, Bad Goys) 

5. 48 Hours of Testimony/Another 48 Hous of Testimony 

4. Rush's Last Hour 

3. Stop or Mike's Wife Will Shoot! 

2. No Can Tango and Cashless 

 and 

1. Stomach-Turner & Douche

Silver Lining, Day 1300

Conspiracy Theory - Donald was replaced in the first 100 days by a sophisticated chicken in a robot. Pence has said nothing because he likes his robot chicken eggs, over easy.

Silver Lining, Day 1299

The Earth just reversed its axis for a few seconds as Donald's head spun around wildly trying to figure out how many different ways he can mispronounce Kamala's name.

Silver Lining, Day 1298

Quality Control flagged yesterday's silver lining (Trump's head on Mt.Rushmore is like a MAGA hat on the Mona Lisa) as falling below standards. Writer acknowledges he was just "phoning it in before bedtime" and offered these alternatives..... Putting Trump's head on Mt. Rushmore is like putting.... 

7. Robot Arms on the Venus De Milo 

6. A French tickler on Michaelangelo's David 

5. A keytar solo in the middle of Stairway to Heaven 

4. An "I'm With Stupid" t-shirt on the Statue of Liberty 

3. Mickey Mouse ears on the Sydney Opera House 

2. A World Series ring on a Houston Astro 

 Or 

1. A "Free Hugs" pin on The Donald.

Silver Lining, Day 1297

Trump's head on Mt. Rushmore would be like giving the Mona Lisa a MAGA hat.

Silver Lining, Day 1296

Screw the GOP, Donnie is the leader of the ....

Silver Lining, Day 1295

Donald's NPR name is Gold Lamé Manson.

Silver Lining, Day 1294

Latest cure for you know what.... Russian hooker pee.

Silver Lining, Day 1293

When Donald flees the U.S. and goes into exile in Russia, he will be a guest judge on Dancing with the Tsars.

Silver Lining, Day 1292

Spotted on my bike ride this morning ..... when someone spray paints your rig and misspells "truck."

Silver Lining, Day 1291

Hey Big D, if you call it a Chinese virus because it's a virus that came from China, I'll just call you a Sad Vagina racist because you're a racist that came from.... well you know.

Silver Lining, Day 1290

Free condoms and anti-bacterial lube for Trump at the local Rite-Aid!

Silver Lining, Day 1287

Adding manslaughter to the Donald's rap sheet. #RIPHermanCain #TrumpKills

Silver Lining, Day 1286

Is that a Silver Lining in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Silver Lining, Day 1284

The Detroit Tigers have now won more games this season that Donald Trump has won elections, far exceeding my expectations!

Silver Lining, Day 1283

Donald says now he WON'T throw out first pitch at Yankee game next month so he can focus on the pandemic. Which means, really, he'll be golfing.

Silver Lining, Day 1282

Golf Uck Yourself, Donald.

Silver Lining, Day 1281

Toyota re-branding its Highlander for the MAGA Market. It only comes in red, gets 1 mile per gallon, and is renamed "The Liehandler."

Silver Lining, Day 1280

Even without a peopled stadium, Donald's too scared to throw out the first pitch, because he doesn't want to be heckled by astroturf.

Silver Lining, Day 1279

Donald is a can of generic spaghetti rings. He thinks he is better than Franco-American Spaghettios, but he's just some off-label brand that some people like because they've been tricked into believing they're the "real" thing. #provemewrong

Silver Lining, Day 1278

More like hatriotic.

Silver Lining, Day 1277

Maybe NOW all the ugly hypocrites will cover their venomous wordholes.

Silver Lining, Day 1276

Rage, Rage, against the lying of the shite.

Silver Lining, Day 1275

Mis-quotus the Potus

Silver Lining, Day 1274

Donald was in Georgia recently, no? 

https://www.wkrg.com/news/body-found-by-railroad-tracks-in-georiga-turns-out-to-be-sex-doll/?fbclid=IwAR1U5wygZEVPZ8t8uFmmherDLQ8M-7CXbItkSnG9TvLo5Tj4jz5YhkbKyw4

 (Thanks, Seth for the scoop!)

Silver Lining, Day 1272

And Eleven More Cars rebranded for the Trump Era..... 

11. Dodge Griper 

10. DeSoto-mayor and DeGinsberg - twin engines of awesomeness! 

9. Ford Model A-hole 

8. Honda Prelude to Life as an Exile in Russia 

7. Lincoln Clown Car 

6. Mercedes Benz the Truth 

5. Mini Hands Cooper 

4. Pontiac Grand Wizard Am 

3. Porsche 944 SAT score (combined) 

2. Mitsubishithead 

 And 

1. Yugo Away January 21, 2021

Silver Lining, Day 1271

Eleven More (!) Rebranded Cars for the Trump Era - 

11. Pontiac Grand Ham 

10. Buick LeSabre-Rattler 

9. Hudson Hawk-ing Snake Oil 

8. Messerschmidt-for-Brains 

7. Peugeot Biden 2020! 

6. Putin's Stoogebaker 

5. Grab 'Em by the Volvo 

4. Corvairhead 

3. Chevy Maliboot-licker 

2. Cadillac De Village Idiot 

 And 

1. Ford Fuck Us

Silver Lining, Day 1270

Eleven Rebranded Cars for the Trump Era - 

11. Kia Sold My Soul to Putin 

10. Toyota Scamry

9. Volkswagen Tiguan-na Fuck Everything Up 

8. Honda Failed Civics Lesson 

7. Not Very Smart Car 

6. Teslabotomy 

5. Lamborghini Grab Her by the Countach 

4. Chevrolet Silveradodo 

3. Draft Dodger Overcharger 

2. Subaru De-Forester 

And 

1. Volkswagen Golf During a Pandemic

Silver Lining, Day 1269

When life gives you lemons, vote them out.

Silver Lining, Day 1268

So that's what it feels like when you pass a Stone.

Silver Lining, Day 1267

 

Silver Lining, Day 1266

If you want to remove a confederate statue, just ask Putin to put a bounty on it. Donald won't care. Problem solved.

Silver Lining, Day 1265

Thinking about Kafka....."When Gregor Samsa woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed in his bed into a monstrous vermin.” 

Let's vote the Monstrous Vermin out in November.

Silver Lining, Day 1264

FUN WITH ANAGRAMS! 

An Anagram for White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany is "Name Ye Lying Hack." Or, if you prefer, "Angelic Yak Hymen." Or, if you prefer, "An Inky Gamy Leech." Or, if you prefer, "Kingly Hyena Came."

Silver Lining, Day 1263

Imagine it is November 8, 2016. Aliens have invaded the earth. The Nebulaks from a far-away galaxy have landed and they have blasted the earth with a stun ray that has put all of humanity into a vivid collective dream-wracked coma. We are, one species, collectively having a long, traumatic/orgiastic dream that feels like it is going on for years. Skrublorb, Supreme Leader of the Nebulaks, is monitoring this collective dream, and is horrified to see what a terrible mess we have made in our collective subconscious. He says, "-sh-lZbrf7hsgt" (which can only loosely be translated as "screw it.") They flip the switch and hightail it back to their galaxy. We, as humankind, snap out of our nightmarish fugue state and learn that Hillary Clinton has won the election, keenly aware however, of every excruciating detail of our collective faux-experience. 

Imagine the rage, the wailing, the agony of the Republican party (which drowns out a small, wise sigh of relief from a vocal minority). 

Imagine how great that feels. And go to bed tonight, happy.

Silver Lining, Day 1262

If Donald was a firework he'd be a Putin Candle. #backupsilverlining #theoriginalsilverliningwasntasnice

Silver Lining, Day 1261

The Washington football team should change their name to the Foreskins because their owner is such a schmuck.

Silver Lining, Day 1260

I bet Donald didn't get a Pokémon balloon on His birthday!

Silver Lining, Day 1259

When Vanilla Ice has more sense than the Commander-in-Chief.

Silver Lining, Day 1258

I would rather see him wearing an orange jumpsuit than a mask.

Silver Lining, Day 1257

Ten Other Things That Cause Mark and Patricia McCloskey to come frantically running out of their houses, barefoot, waving guns around: 

10. Ice Cream Truck serving more than just vanilla. 

9. Gardeners aiming to trim those lilies. 

8. Mail carriers with Joe Biden campaign envelopes. 

7. The foul stench of human decency. 

6. Door-to-door Mask Peddlers 

5. Black Cats 

4. Chief Justice John Roberts jogging by singing "Who Let the Laws Out, Who, Who, Who?!!?!" 

3. Dog Whistles 

2. A Mariachi Band playing The Battle Hymn of the Republic

 and 

1. A bare-chested Mike Pence riding a Golden Unicorn

Silver Lining, Day 1256

Moaning about masks and confederate statues makes about as much sense as complaining about your car stereo while ignoring the fact the engine keeps bursting into flames. #BountyGate #BenghaziButBigger

Silver Lining, Day 1255

 

Silver Lining, Day 1254

Silver Lining, Day 1253

If Donald was a breakfast burrito, he'd be a mouthful of chorizo and bullshit. #sethfastburritos

Silver Lining, Day 1252

It's not surprising that this presidency will be defined by a virus. It is, however, a bit of a shock that it's not a sexually-transmitted one.

Silver LIning, Day 1251

The weirdest thing happened in Arizona yesterday. Shortly after Trump signed a section of the border wall, it bounced.

Silver Lining, Day 1250

 Used time machine to go back to 2007 and punch my younger self in the face for watching The Apprentice.

Silver Lining, Day 1249

Oh, to be 154 again!

Silver Lining, Day 1248

In hindsight, now your inauguration numbers look YUUUUUUGE!

Silver Lining, Day 1247

Ten excuses for folks no-showing for the Trump rally in Tulsa: 

10. Re-painting the oil well. 

9. Catching up on Watchmen. 

8. Rediscovering empathy. 

7. Rehearsing production of Oklahoma! 

6. Binge Watching Love Island (UK). 

5. Filling William Barr pinatas with chinchilla feces. 

4. Buying illegal fireworks to send to Brooklyn in a conspiracy to inappropriately disrupt Zoom calls for work-from-home laborers. 

3. Watching Fox News for their daily dose of Donald Fan Fiction. 

2. Karaoke festival of songs banned from MTV. 

 And 

1. Realizing that Tulsa spelled backwards is "a slut," which explains Donald's attraction to T-Town.

Silver Lining, Day 1246

Trump claims he made Juneteenth "very famous." Here are ten other things he has made very famous:

10. Pussy-grabbing 

9. The Hamberder and Covfefe White Supremacist meal at select McDonald's locations 

8. Tweeting conspiracy theories in a tin foil hat with the official White House seal 

7. Omarosa, again and again 

6. Sycophantism 

5. A Hydroxychloroquine Stockpile worth diddly-squat 

4. Covidiocy 

3. Maskaphobia 

2. Unhinged Horribleness 

And 

1. Impeachable Offenses 

#VoteHimOut2020

Silver Lining, Day 1245

Silver Lining, Day 1244

Everyone going to the Tulsa rally will get a red MAGA sippy cup.

Silver Lining, Day 1243

Trump suing to keep Bolton's book from being published, at least until he learns how to read.

Silver Lining, Day 1242

Neil Gorsuch

Silver Lining, Day 1241

Happy Birthday, president trump.

Silver Lining, Day 1240

Would love for statues of Trump to go up just to see the creative ways they come down.

Silver Lining, Day 1238

It's like a terrible play. With 1237 encores.

Silver Lining, Day 1237

If we're focusing on the removal of racist symbols in America, I can think of an orange one that's overstayed its welcome.

Silver Lining, Day 1236

Buffalo protestor linked to Hindenberg, too, warns Trump. Since it was a huge flaming gasbag, Donnie takes it very personally.

Silver Lining, Day 1235

Fox News Hitting the Hard Stories.

Silver Lining, Day 1234

One week to figure out how to ruin Donald's birthday. A Pelosi piñata filled with murder hornets?

Silver Lining, Day 1233

Wondering if Donald got Mexico to pay for this. Asking for a friend.

Silver Lining, Day 1232

Yesterday's Silver Lining was unfriended because people are not comfortable with their own racism.

Silver Lining, Day 1230

When the Mad Dog bites.

Not Really a Silver Lining, Day 1229

When COVID-19 cases start to rise, and people want to blame the protestors, remember, America, a week ago states were opening up and assholes all over this country went out, without masks, to "get back to their lives." I'm looking at you, Florida. I'm looking at you, Missouri. I'm looking at you, Texas. I'm looking at you, you precious armed white crybabies in Michigan and beyond, storming the capitols with your weapons of war and meeting no resistance from law enforcement. When the numbers go up, and they will, remember COVID-19 was here, among us, more than a week ago. And we as a nation will reap what we sow.

Slvr Lnng, D 1228

Slvr Lnng, D 1228: Wht sprmcsts stl th vwls frm ths pst nd Trmp blmd t n pcfl prtstrs.

Silver Lining, Day 1227

Reality show president = shitshow presidency.

Silver Lining, Day 1226

Haven't heard much about the stupid wall lately.

Silver Lining, Day 1224

He puts the Twit in Twitter. 

#phoningitin

Silver Lining, Day 1223

We're Number 1?

Silver Lining, Day 1222

Even though they're supposed to cover the face, the lack of masks in public are exposing a lot of assholes.

Silver Lining, Day 1220

Credit to illustrator Mark Dolk (@vrjrdgstknng) for this:

Silver Lining, Day 1219

At least when he golfs, he's not tweeting.

Silver Lining, Day 1218

Improve a Trump Associate by changing one letter of their name. 

10. Mike Penne 

9. Steve Mduchin 

8. Eared Kushner 

7. Ruby Giuliani 

6. Roger Atone 

5. Michael Flann 

4. Paul Manafork 

3. George Zapadoploulos 

2. Chris Chrispie 

 And 

1. William Barf

Silver Lining, Day 1217

Subway introducing it's new "Trumpwich." All bologna, a sprinkling of flaming hot cheetos, wedged between two pieces of batshit crazybread.

Silver Lining, Day 1216

I say if the Hydroxychloroquine works for you, go for it, Donald. What could possibly go wrong? [Grabs Popcorn]

Silver Lining, Day 1215

It makes sense that Trump won't wear a mask because when I see someone without a mask on in New York City, I think, hey, I bet that person paid $130,000 in hush money to a porn star, too!

Silver Lining, Day 1214

The last one of these.... 

Found in Donald's private Facebook feed... I have been nominated by David Duke, a very fine person, to name some of my favorite albums of all time over the course of the next 12 days and in no particular order!!! 

Day 12 The guidelines are to post only the music that has had a profound impact on me and to only post the cover of the album without any further explanation and to nominate a new friend every day to do the same. 

I Nominate - Rush Limbaugh

Silver Lining, Day 1213

How to wish my brother a happy birthday and knock out a Silver Lining in the process? 

It ain't funny, but he's my brother..... 

Found in Donald's private Facebook feed... I have been nominated by David Duke, a very fine person, to name some of my favorite albums of all time over the course of the next 12 days and in no particular order!!! 

Day 11 

The guidelines are to post only the music that has had a profound impact on me and to only post the cover of the album without any further explanation and to nominate a new friend every day to do the same. 

I Nominate - Seth Cohen! Happy Birthday Bruh!

Silver Lining, Day 1212

Found in Donald's private Facebook feed... I have been nominated by David Duke, a very fine person, to name some of my favorite albums of all time over the course of the next 12 days and in no particular order!!! 

Day 10 

The guidelines are to post only the music that has had a profound impact on me and to only post the cover of the album without any further explanation and to nominate a new friend every day to do the same. 

I Nominate - Charles Koch!

Silver Lining, Day 1211

Found in Donald's private Facebook feed... I have been nominated by David Duke, a very fine person, to name some of my favorite albums of all time over the course of the next 12 days and in no particular order!!! 

Day 9 The guidelines are to post only the music that has had a profound impact on me and to only post the cover of the album without any further explanation and to nominate a new friend every day to do the same. 

I Nominate - Stephen Miller!

Silver Lining, Day 1210

Found in Donald's private Facebook feed... I have been nominated by David Duke, a very fine person, to name some of my favorite albums of all time over the course of the next 12 days and in no particular order!!! 

Day 8 The guidelines are to post only the music that has had a profound impact on me and to only post the cover of the album without any further explanation and to nominate a new friend every day to do the same. 

I Nominate - William Barr!

Silver Lining, Day 1209

Found in Donald's private Facebook feed... 

I have been nominated by David Duke, a very fine person, to name some of my favorite albums of all time over the course of the next 12 days and in no particular order!!! 

Day 7 The guidelines are to post only the music that has had a profound impact on me and to only post the cover of the album without any further explanation and to nominate a new friend every day to do the same. 

I Nominate - Clarence Thomas!

Silver Lining, Day 1208

Found in Donald's private Facebook feed... I have been nominated by David Duke, a very fine person, to name some of my favorite albums of all time over the course of the next 12 days and in no particular order!!! 

Day 6 The guidelines are to post only the music that has had a profound impact on me and to only post the cover of the album without any further explanation and to nominate a new friend every day to do the same. 

I Nominate - Lindsay Graham!

Silver Lining, Day 1207

Found in Donald's private Facebook feed... 

I have been nominated by David Duke, a very fine person, to name some of my favorite albums of all time over the course of the next 12 days and in no particular order!!! 

Day 5 The guidelines are to post only the music that has had a profound impact on me and to only post the cover of the album without any further explanation and to nominate a new friend every day to do the same. 

I Nominate - Jared Kushner!

Silver Lining, Day 1206

Found in Donald's private Facebook feed... 

I have been nominated by David Duke, a very fine person, to name some of my favorite albums of all time over the course of the next 12 days and in no particular order!!! 

Day 4 (MOTHER'S DAY) The guidelines are to post only the music that has had a profound impact on me and to only post the cover of the album without any further explanation and to nominate a new friend every day to do the same. 

I Nominate - Melania!

Silver Lining, Day 1205

Found in Donald's private Facebook feed... 

I have been nominated by David Duke, a very fine person, to name some of my favorite albums of all time over the course of the next 12 days and in no particular order!!! 

Day 3 The guidelines are to post only the music that has had a profound impact on me and to only post the cover of the album without any further explanation and to nominate a new friend every day to do the same. 

I Nominate - Brett Kavanaugh

Silver Lining, Day 1204

Found in Donald's private Facebook feed... 

I have been nominated by David Duke, a very fine person, to name some of my favorite albums of all time over the course of the next 12 days and in no particular order!!! 

Day 2 The guidelines are to post only the music that has had a profound impact on me and to only post the cover of the album without any further explanation and to nominate a new friend every day to do the same. 

I Nominate - Stephen Miller.

Silver Lining, Day 1203

My friend list is about to get shorter. #youtubechallenge

Silver Lining, Day 1202

Found in Donald's private Facebook feed... 

I have been nominated by David Duke, a very fine person, to name some of my favorite albums of all time over the course of the next 12 days and in no particular order!!! 

Day 1 

The guidelines are to post only the music that has had a profound impact on me and to only post the cover of the album without any further explanation and to nominate a new friend every day to do the same. 

I Nominate - Boris Johnson.

Silver Lining, Day 1201

I will stop my silver linings if Donald uses his authority as president to seize this vehicle parked in lower Manhattan and gives it to me. #ficklecheesehead